navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Virtual Café
Open Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Virtual Café Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-02-13 01:36 AM


Breathe

    ~echoes~
       ~echoes~
          ~echoes~

     of timeless captivity
   chained,
  in tendrils;

     painted orbs of green and blue

  tongues sweetened
      platinum smoothe

    declaiming:
            daily dreams
    divulging:
            doubts dramatic

  trust
   given-taken
    o'er rims
     moistened
  from lips sipping
    in the corner
      of a parlor
        in an unseen
          village
            town
           nestled in the
               center
                of our
                  virtual
                    café
      


Hope the dream.
Wish the future.
Live the now.






[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-13-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
1 posted 2000-02-13 01:43 AM


Christopher this amazes me. I love that last part!
trust
   given-taken
    o'er rims
     moistened
  from lips sipping
    in the corner
      of a parlor
        in an unseen
          village
            town
           nestled in the
               center
                of our
                  virtual
                    cafe
      
Awesome my friend!



 <*\\\><

When you can't make up your mind
Which way is right for you,
Stop and softly ask yourself,
What Would Jesus Do?

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2000-02-13 01:52 AM


A study of meditation, Christopher!  You simply amaze me with your ability to go so deep without drowning...I wish I could down-
load your brain...Awe-inspiring, both simple and complex...What are you doing later?

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 2000-02-13 01:53 AM


What a presentation  
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 2000-02-13 02:30 AM


Becca - Thank you, kinda just "fell out!" LOL

Serenity - Methinks you give me a tad more credit than I deserve!  
Believe me, a trip into my head would leave you terrified!  

Ruth - Thanks, miss you my friend!

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
5 posted 2000-02-13 02:31 AM


oops

[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-13-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-02-13 02:39 AM


Nope. No. Nay. I meant every word.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
7 posted 2000-02-13 02:43 AM


I warned you.... LOL... Anyone is free to e-mail me at anytime! I won't promise a speedy return, but you can try! Either click on my name in the Prose or English Workshop sections, or click on the following: chrisgw@hotmail.com   






[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-13-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-02-13 02:58 AM


Ooooohhhh!  Now you have made serenity squeal
with delight!  You are indeed a talented man.

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
9 posted 2000-02-13 03:00 AM


It only took me a full hour of staring at the screen to reply.. that's pretty good for me, I swear!  

Oh, the poem?  I have to agree with Hoot and add that the presentation is very unique and seems so very interesting and fun to read!  

Great poem Christopher!  


 A writer's soul is on paper etched.

In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. --
Abrahm Simons



Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
10 posted 2000-02-13 03:13 AM


Thank you Abe... It means more knowing you travel here seldomly!



[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-13-2000).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
11 posted 2000-02-13 07:52 AM


This is a virtual cafe, isn't it?
You do it proud, my friend...

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
12 posted 2000-02-13 09:24 AM


What am I going to do with you? Sigh! This is wonderful, Chris. The poem, the feelings, the presentation.....a complete package. I shake my head in wonder at your talent.  

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2000-02-13 12:24 PM


Ummmm....What can I say about this piece. It is almost sensual in it's reading. I love the image of the lips moistening the cup. Someday I will be able to write a free form verse like this (I hope..lol). Great job my friend.  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2000-02-13 12:24 PM


Christopher-
What mesmerizing thoughts
portrayed with allure.
You are an extrememly talented man.
The virtual cafe of your mind
would be a fine place to share a
cup of Latte.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
15 posted 2000-02-13 12:37 PM


Chris, this is great. The words lead you on, giving pause at just the right time.  

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion


Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
16 posted 2000-02-13 01:48 PM


Christopher, amazing!  Your recent work has taken a turn towards the ethereal.  Absolutely divine!  Not only do the words just fall off the tongue, but with your formatting they fall off the page as well.  A visual masterpiece.  I love the echoes.  It shows the power of a single sound, breath, spoken word.  I love this!

 It matters not how strait the gate;
How charged with punishments the scroll;
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
--W.E. Henley



Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
17 posted 2000-02-13 03:10 PM


Nan- It is and thank you!


Sharon- Geesh! Stop it already... I KNOW!!!


Marilyn- With your talent, you'll probably do it better!

Marge- You too! You're making me *blush* again! But thank you! All are welcome in this virtual café, so  pull up a seat and have a cup!


Mistikman- Thank you, I'm glad it flowed of your lips!


Tara- You too!!! Geesh!   Thank you for the support! I'll pay you later! (wink-wink)

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
18 posted 2000-02-13 03:32 PM


This was virtually delicious Chris...
Your presentation was great...I bow to you poet!!!!hehe


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
19 posted 2000-02-13 04:33 PM


This must have slipped by me
Such an effort in words and style
Well done there Sir.


 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
20 posted 2000-02-13 06:56 PM


This is very nice indeed, I echo all the above!  Er...I noticed you said something just "fell out" ??  ROFL  I have that problem too sometimes!  hehe  I do plan on digging up some of your other works I've missed while away.  There's always a nice little surprise hidden in them I don't want to miss.  Show yourself more often, would ya?      T-girl

 ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
21 posted 2000-02-13 07:06 PM


Christopher this is so smooth and enjoyable to read.  James
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
22 posted 2000-02-13 08:20 PM


I really enjoyed this Chris, great and different imagery.  Bravo my friend  

 Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.
~Isis~
(Sovereign of the Spirit)



Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
23 posted 2000-02-13 09:15 PM


Come while away with me in idle languishing,
indefinate clarity, and perpetual nothingness which is the Virtual Cafe.  Dang Chris, where is Rod Serling at - he should personally introduce you poems you know.

"tongues sweetened
      platinum smoothe"

What a line.  Well done, my friend, as always.

michael

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
24 posted 2000-02-14 12:56 PM


What a convincing picture you have painted here!  I am seeing a cafe all in chrome and neon -- LOL -- but that could just be the room spinning on me again.  Excellent work in any case, and I thought the changing colours was well done too and added much.

--Me


 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
25 posted 2000-02-14 01:50 AM


Quite an apt description, eh?     Masterfully done, m'friend.  'orbs of green and blue'...very cool.





 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
26 posted 2000-02-14 03:02 PM


It's me again, here to plead guilty to a drunken and vapid response that in no way did justice to the poetry contained herein.  (sheesh -- I should be a lawyer!)  

After a patient explanation, I think I have grasped most of what I was missing in this (thus my noncommital reply LOL).

"Breathe" was an excellent first line, it set the stage for the rest quite well, I thought ...

The abrupt change of theme in the midst (between being chained and being in a cafe) works very well, I think, to explain the duality of the situation, though I wonder why you chose to use such a strong reference to captivity (makes it sound unpleasant or unwanted).

As I so clumsily stated before, I enjoyed the cafe scene very much (being partial to them myself, go figure!).  You captured the cozy and intimate atmosphere and the sensuality of sharing a latte with someone you feel a connection with -- vanilla latte, of course.  

Quiet conversations,
Hushed tones, leaning
Forward, smiles that frame the words
And reach the eyes
(blue -- green)
Whispers floating between,
Charged
Like living things, on
Breaths of
Warm vanilla ...


Any better..?  

--Me



 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest


Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

27 posted 2000-02-14 03:12 PM


this is great, glad I didn't miss it...you could rename pip to this....virtual cafe....great job!
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
28 posted 2000-02-14 03:51 PM


HUSG
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
29 posted 2000-02-16 10:45 PM


oops ...  

[This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 02-16-2000).]

Oscar Wilde
Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 31
San Francisco
30 posted 2000-04-01 01:12 PM


Hope the dream.
Wish the future.
Live the now.

I am. You are such a marvelous poet!

Your biggest fan,

O.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Virtual Café

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary