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Open Poetry #6
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To the critic
| Open Poetry #6 |
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To the critic |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa 
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Common critic Analytic Easy comes your kind Sit in the stands Tie up your hands And try to read my mind Conclusions weak Before you speak And call yourself a king Step up and enter The circle center To prove this song you sing In dreams pursuing It is the doing That sets us all apart And while I’m bleeding You stand misreading The depths within my heart I’m In the Limelight In a time fight To become forever So would you speak not If you seek not The very same endeavor |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well said, Kevin. Your poem reminds me of a poem written by a local poet down here. I've always remembered these two lines: Hey, Mr. Critic, get up on this stage You be the songbird and I'll shake the cage Obviously, amny people feel the same way, me included  |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
.gif) Yes this poem does have a familiar ring but I just can't place it now Well written Kevin!! You did an excellent job addressing the problems with a critic....often people who are very insecure in themselves. Hold me for yesterday Kiss me for tomorrow But love me for today. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sit in the stands Tie up your hands And try to read my mind ------------ And while I’m bleeding You stand misreading The depths within my heart ------------------- So would you speak not If you seek not The very same endeavor ------------------ Kevin, this is excellent...very well writen and thought thru... you should be very proud of this one!! great job take care, jm ...when you walked into the room, I saw their faces, you made it feel like time was standing still...and I felt fascination... then you turned and smiled in my direction... and my heart...gave me away. glass tiger |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
In critiquing this one, I would say it is very well written and full of truths. It can be painful when someone critques a poem that you have written from your heart, wanting only to express your feelings, and not to be analyzed. Well spoken Liz PS, But just as the critic remarks on the poetry and not on the poet, so should we criticize what he says, not who he is, for that may be another unknown. [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 04-05-2000).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very well written Kevin...James |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Excellent piece, Kevin - straight from the hip, and oh so apropo!  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kevin~ Very well stated. Spoken with 'heart'. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Hit the nail on the head you did, kevin. I don't have much problem receiving critique on "form" even when unsought but I absolutely find it absurd when someone tries to tell me what I was thinking when I was writing a poem. Lest they see through your eyes and feel from your soul, who are they to try to change your words. great poem. Michael |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Personally I love critics, they give me a good laugh! My father is the ultimate critic so I've learned to live with them. But I understand what you're saying and I love the way you write! |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Thank you guys so much for your replies, Liz, an interesting 180 you pulled on me, ill be thinking about it for quite some time guess i was being a little hypo"critical" lol |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Smiling here...you tell them Kevin |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Michael nailed it for me also. Nice writing. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kevin, I think your reaction to critics is normal. My first reaction to unsolicited critiquing was anger, but I was confusing ego with malicious intent, and just because a person has an ego, doesn't mean he or she is not a good person or that the intentions weren't good. If someone is insensitive to your feelings, usually explaining things to them changes their approach. I have met a lot of people through the years who rubbed me the wrong way at first, and ended up being best of friends, once we understood each other's personalities. If they make the mistake of offending me, I still don't see it as a reason to ostracize them. I like to know where that person is coming from before I make a judgement. People make mistakes. We all do. You know, you write very well, even when you're angry. You have a wonderful talent. And this was a very well written poem Excellent, in fact (But that's just my opinion) Liz |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
It just occured to me, after reading liz's second reply, that many of us have made a large assumption in the case of this poem. It is easy, and almost expected to directly attribute my words to writing, and the critique there of. Understand, however, that this was not where I was coming from at all. This poem represents those who strive to achieve any goal, yet are slowed or stopped by an OUTSIDER. Someone who does/can/will not identify with their situation. If your still patient enough to sit with me through this, I offer you the quote that inspired the poem by Teddy Roosevelt "It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasims, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat." There is a key line in the poem, at the end, that says "would you speak not, If you seek not, the very same endeavor." What I was trying to convey was that, the person who does not try at all, as if to shoot down an idea without offering an alternative, is looked upon negatively. However, Someone who is in the arena, such as a fellow writer is openly accepted. If you took the time to read this I hope it clarified, and I thank you |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Very well explained, Kevin, and an excellent quote by Teddy Roosevelt. I read it over a couple of times, and I understand better your poem. Good work Liz |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Great work... enjoyed this much! |
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