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Open Poetry #6
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Disappear
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Disappear |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
DisappearI light the candles all through the house Quieter times have brought you into my heart again Flames licking near me can't bear to watch anymore Why couldn't you have saved me from what I'm still running toward? Just when I thought time was moving And just when I thought I could hold it all Just now, now I thought I could breathe again Your flames are telling me what it is I'm losing Couldn't we have tried a another song? something just low and sweet between us like your slow seduction I thought would never end How can these candles burn so long? How could it hurt so to cry you back with my tears? It's been a while since I spoke your name aloud What could it hurt just this time, to say I love you? How can I watch another flame disappear?  Claire |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
A very pain-filled poem--I liked the candle imagery used here. Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is so sad and so beautiful, Claire. Very beautiful! Denise |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, Claire~ This is so sadly filled with loss and longing. Beautiful look into a saddened heart. Very touching, Claire. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Oh, those wicked wicks! There's something about a candle's glow that's so warm or sad. Beautiful verse Liz |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Keep this up and you'll have us all crying  Rex}>{{{{o> |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thank you all, in earnest, for reading. Not feeling very poetic tonight, I'm afraid. ~ Claire |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
.gif) Clair* This is done with style and beauty that your heart reflects off from your soul. Every line was breathtaking. Hold me for yesterday Kiss me for tomorrow But love me for today. |
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CherylLynnMckee Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215 |
Sad but beautiful...wonderful writing. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Deeply sad and painful, but also lovely Claire. Like always.  *Krista Knutson* As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins. ~*Albert Schweitzer*~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I've done this a few times myself..ha..ha.. or was it a few hundred times...whatever the relationship..when it is over it seems to leave some hurt in our memory that reappears now and than. James |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Claire, Your poetry is poetic in any state, it flows naturally with your emotions, very lovely. Parker |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Very sad and moving. Touching work! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This reeps of sadness |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
maybe those are trick candles or something... you know - the ones that never go out.  I've come across those a few times myself. Great poem, Claire, if sad. Hope you didn't mind me trying to get a smile out of you.Michael |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
"Couldn't we have tried a another song? something just low and sweet between us like your slow seduction I thought would never end How can these candles burn so long?" I could really relate to this poem, especially these lines. Very touching, and beautifully put!  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The pain in this is palpable... great poem! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Claire, let the song fill your heart my friend. . . and hear the music. . . dance to its soft melody. . . Let the candles light the way to show you what you need to see. . . Very touching my friend. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Meadow, Your sentiment of lament is lovely. Beautiful poem. *L* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Claire, I am drawn to your poetry, for it is like a candle and I, the moth. This poem touched me. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Butterflies...CherylLynn...Krista...James...Parker Michael(Auguste)...Michael...Ruth...Troy Suthern...Sven...Seymour...Martie Thank you ALL Your words are of the candle's light, illuminating my heart tonight. Claire |
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