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Open Poetry #6
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Reflections on Full Circle
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Reflections on Full Circle |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
This is a poem I wrote after reading an incredible short story that hit a little too close to home. The story is called Full Circle and was written by Scott a.k.a. Wordsmith. The story can be found here: http://www.artistic-expressions.com/bbs/messages/11096.html I urge everyone to read this story, it has a powerful and important message. My knees feel week and my fingers tremble I just read a story of a boy I resemble One who had lost all hope for the future A beaten, lonely, pathetic creature He lived his life for the failure it brought Only feeling alive with the pain he sought Then one day, while at a bench in the park A little girls question pierced through the dark "How much loss does it take to break a soul?" A simple question eats in him a gaping hole The girl is gone, but the question remains Pounding into him like runaway trains Silently, while drinking some cheap booze He fights with himself, over that question he stews Was he indeed, as the question said, broken? Why was he disturbed with the words she had spoken? He reflects on his life, sees that all ended in loss In all he had done, only he suffered the costs Each failure had ended with two things only His intelligence and his twisted body In grade school he learned how to hate He was not athletic and a bit overweight In sports he was often pushed to the other team But, the laughter of girls was the pain supreme In class he was silent and rather withdrawn His peers saw him as nothing but a pawn He was used for the answers they wanted But still he was relentlessly taunted No matter how he tried, still he was cast out His mother said because of jealousy, no doubt They envied his intelligence, and knew no other way His size intimidated them into pushing him away After pondering his thoughts for a very long time He got a notebook to put his feelings to rhyme In his writing he found a wonderful release A way to make his torture finally cease In this story I saw my own heartache and pain Saw how I let my own life go swirling down that drain [This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 04-02-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Mistikman, I have read this story and like you, it touched me deeply. This was so beautiful of you to have written this. Well Done!! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I have had the opportunity to read the incredible piece of work about which you speak. As always, Scott's talent for prose and vivd imagery shines through in this, his latest story. Your poem does him honor  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I have read Scott's story and your wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing both. Liz |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
mistik, this is excellent,you have written into your poem the things the story evoked in you and the things in your life, that you saw in the boy in the story, and made it your own. very well written. strong in your emotions. the ending lines, while being very sad...were perfection. touching work here. take care jm she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough, and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in. ...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me... and I feel like somethings gonna give... and I'm a little bit angry. matchbox20 |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Mistikman, I so admire your poetic self~examination. It comes through in all your work, I believe. I read the story you referred us to, and was very moved by it. That it touched you in this way is what I marvel at, though, because I see the inspiration for you and your reaction to it. What a wonderful thing for you to have shared with us, this progression. Love your poem! Thank you, in earnest, for a deeper look. ~ Claire |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Mistikman, I read the story and your poem, and I loved them both. They were both very powerful and touched me very deeply. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent poem, Mistikman! Thanks for sharing it and the story by Scott! Denise |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Mistikman, I am very sorry to hear of your painful childhood. Your poem is bittersweet and so very well expressed. Thank you for sharing your poem and telling us about Scott's story. Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Thenk you all, but the real thanks need to be to Scott rather than me, for he wrote the wonderful story with which I based this mediocre poem on. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mistik~ I read the story Scott wrote and was very touched and moved by it. You are right ... it is powerful and very important. I then re-read your poem relating to the story ... it is very powerful and very important. I pray that you continue your writing and reaching out to others. It has to hurt to be the brunt of others cruel humor and ill-manners. It has to hurt to not be recognized for what is inside your heart and your head. These years are so important in forming who you will become ... rise above the pettiness of others and reach out to someone who needs you for your goodness. There are many hands of friendship extended to you in this family of poets. Give yourself a chance to realize all you can be. I think you've taken a giant step toward knowing that you are capable of more through your writing. Challenge yourself even further. WRITE - WRITE - WRITE ! I believe in you. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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CherylLynnMckee Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215 |
Incredible story Incredible poem thanks for sharing both. |
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