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Open Poetry #6
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Bob's Big Boy (move it if it offends!)
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Bob's Big Boy (move it if it offends!) |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is a repost...and is absolutely a true story! It has been incorporated into a lecture given by Anthony Marshall, writer for the "Hotel/Motel Magazine". The name of the perpetrator has not been changed! If anyone finds it offensive, please let me or another moderator know and someone will whisk it off to another forum! I hope you see the humor in it! (note: there was a burger chain called Bob's Big Boy - don't get confused, I'm not slamming them!  )Bob's Big Boy Early one morn in a hotel pool, came a cry in the dark, "my tool....my tool!" So the clerk used his head, and called 911 explaining, he said, "this job won't be fun! But please come quick and bring some gel, this guy is stuck and he's beginning to swell." So the medics were sent as to a battle front, but came face to face with Mister Chevront. That's right, poor Bob, (no pun intended), stood near the pipe - his winkie extended. And hoping to get, for free don't you know, that special feeling, that special glow. And the pipe that sucked the scum and goo fell in love with Bob and his winkie, too. Then soon, when Bob was ready to leave, he tugged his winkie from the sucking sleeve. But lo and behold, the tube held tight and wouldn't give up without a fight. This is the sight the medics found, poor Bob and his winkie (beginning to drown). So the captain of the medic crew stepped up and said " I know what to do!" He turned off the pipe and grabbed onto Bob and pulled as though he liked this job. But Bob was stuck and swelling too, his winkie now was turning blue. They tried the gel, but it didn't work! After an hour, it come out with a jerk. They threw Bob and his winkie onto a gurney and drove off upon an emergency journey. So ends the saga of the pipe, so cruel! Which can be called - The Fool and His tool!  |
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| © Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
LOL Sharon!! The poor soul, or should I say his winkie...  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
POET D...you are too much... this is so funny, and I heard this story on the news. Poor old Bob earned his 15 mins of fame the hard way...PUN INTENDED LOL great job...way cool they use it as part of their lecture... take care, jm she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough, and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in. ...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me... and I feel like somethings gonna give... and I'm a little bit angry. matchbox20 |
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CherylLynnMckee Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215 |
ROFLMAO...I remember when this happened..this is to funny..thanks poet It's always nice to start your morning out with a good laugh!!!! |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
LOL--the poor guy! Ouch! Janet--very funny pun there...  Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
heh, that sounds really painful Great poem PdV, and poor Bob... |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
OWWWWWWWWWWWW! |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
LOL, I thought it sounded familar too, I don't think it was from the news though I think I received an E-mail about it, no matter how you retold it was with class and much humor, thanks for the smile |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Sooooooooo Funny! Caught in a zipper is bad enough, but in a pipe....well....so tacky, if not SICK! Takes all kinds, so they say! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all! Yes..this poor guy! And he wasn't a guest in the hotel, he lived in that town! Imagine having to live that down (no pun intended). And LR, I'm sure you'd only feel a 'small' pinch! LOL |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I read an article from a medical journal about something that happened in Tennessee to a guy who cam in to a doctors office with an obvious injury to his "big boy" but the doctor had to, um... Well to make a long story short -- this guy had actually dismembered his member while trying to engage in an unusual act of self gratification and was so embarrased he STAPLED it back on himself with an office stapler... three days later after it was obviously not healing he went to the doctor... I still cringe at the thought.... And hey!!! What's that PDV???? HEY!!!  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh, ouch...poor guy and great poem...needed the smile. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Listen to this one, which is also absolutely true, I swear it: There was a woman who loved marshmallows, and one night she decided to drive her boyfriend wild by melting some, then putting them on his member and licking them off. She carried out the plan, but didn't let the marshmallows cool down and burned him! He broke up with her before it healed. Ouch! Ha ha, Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
At our local ER, it was a vacuum cleaner hose that did it. I have never had an affectionate vacuum cleaner. Incidentally, this poem was a riot (not the incident) Liz [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 04-01-2000).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
LOL Sharon, This was great!!!! That poor guys winkie hehehe ooops What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was SOOOO funny! LMAO! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
So finally I get to read it! This is hillarious, Sharon!  Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, I think the guy got a bum rap. I mean, the thing was so provocative! The filtering system was on and all the hair in the pool was being suctioned toward that opening and it got so clogged that the hair was being plastered around the edges of the hole and, gee, it looked so inviting and what's a guy supposed to do???????? |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
hehe.... I don't recal the media coverage - I know the story only through your eyes, PdV... I don't think it could be done better anyway..  |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Poet deVine....What can I say except ROFLMAO!!!!!! Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ROFL! Methinks I enjoyed this entirely too much! Thank you, PdV! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Omigod, LMAO! Poet Devine you are just so creative and have such a way with words, only you could have the humour and wit to write such a poem. I remember this event too. Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
ROTFL..Now that's gotta hurt...lol |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
there should have been a warning sign only use Pool Tools near drains Rex}>{{{{o> |
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