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Open Poetry #6
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Longing, Lonely, Sweet Tonight
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Longing, Lonely, Sweet Tonight |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Would I could erase the past while saving parts that are best in me, all of that-- it would be done-- as sweetly as a whisper, "please..." If I could feel the trace of finger, echoes of your words in linger... If I could break this fever-- SWEAT-- Still, I'd not be done for, YET... If I were SUN, and you were DEW, I could not, would not diminish you... I'd reverse all laws of universe, if only just to breathe your breath. |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
.gif) If I were SUN, and you were DEW, I could not, would not diminish you... Breathtaking Serenity, your words leave me with an ache I'm touched by this. Thank you for sharing. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ This is struck with beauty. 'If I could feel the trace of finger, echoes of your words in linger...' Beautiful, hon. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Serenity, this is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read! Absolutely beautiful! Denise |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
may I have your autograph ?  serenity this is awsome Rex}>{{{{o> |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Butterflies--No, THANK YOU for your kindness. Marge--as always, you warm my heart. Denise--I am always happy if I think that you enjoyed...so thanks for making me happy! Rex Allen--I don't know how to do autographs on this thing! But thank you! That was a "first" for me... |
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CherylLynnMckee Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215 |
Absolutely beautiful...loved every single word in it.The first few lines grab you and hold you..wonderful! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Would I could erase the past while saving parts that are best in me, all of that-- it would be done-- as sweetly as a whisper, "please..." ---------------- serenity-girl...I am SO taken by this exceptional poem, besides its grace and beauty, which goes unsaid..I am so connected to its emotions...I swear your wrote this looking out of my heart. this is the true gift of poetry and this special place...i live for the moments when I come across a poem that moves me like this I love this poem...thank you for this tonite. take care sweets, jm Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules Do you care what is thought by others about you If this day is all that is promised to you Do you live for the present, the future the past... tracy chapman |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
WOW~ This is nicely written~ What a wonderful poet you are~ Marie~ "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." The Bard |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity--this is a wonderful poem...touched my heart. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you, thank you, Cheryllynn... JM, I somehow knew you'd understand. Love in abundance to you...(and may I add that I have been enjoying YOUR work tremendously?) Martie--meant to "e" you to tell you especially how much I've been enjoying your work as well...Thank you so much for all of your encouragement. Marie66-love and gratitude to you as well. Much, much thanks. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This was DEEP girly...Definantly my favorite sis....you're quite the passion- I can't even pick ONE of my favorite lines...I loved it all!!! *love you* Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oops! You slipped by me there, me sister! I had to come back just give you a hug! Lovely love to you. Thanks. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I too love that phrase...simply lovely. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I can't even pick a favorite line. Not only are the words awesome, the rhyming style is exceptional. Love it... |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow - What a lovely poem you have here. This is so beautiful and so eloquent. I absolutely love the ending, too. michael |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Poet deVine, Balladeer, & Incredible Michael-- i am humbled by praise from "the masters"! Thank you all so very much. (You guys are all so good for me!) |
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Loneheart Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 92Eastern US |
As always your poems are filled with such feelings thank you its beautiful Loneheart |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Serenity - what a gorgeous poem! I'm with Butterflies - these are my favorite lines: "If I were SUN, and you were DEW, I could not, would not diminish you..." This poem is so touching, that I think it deserves another run on page one... BUMP!  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
serenity, This is one of the best poems I have ever read. I love the imagery in this one, and the last line takes my breath away: If I were SUN, and you were DEW, I could not, would not diminish you... I'd reverse all laws of universe, if only just to breathe your breath. Straight from the heart! ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Serenity First of all, I loved the rhyming in this verse. It was a smooth flowing read. It is truly an exuisite poem, tender and loving Liz |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Had to thank you all again! Loneheart--hope you're not so lonely now! Thank you... Troy-------ever grateful for the BUMP! Terry------thanks to you--shall be looking for you as well, GRATS. Elizabeth--The "Queen of Green" bends her knee-- To the Duchess of Finesse!Much luv |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
If I were SUN, and you were DEW, I could not, would not diminish you... I'd reverse all laws of universe, if only just to breathe your breath. ----------------------- Beautiful!!! "The storm rises up when the shadows descend every beat of my heart every day without end I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break till theres no more to give if thats what it takes I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed I will lay down my life if thats what you need every second I live thats the promise I make" I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =) |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Serenity, this is wonderful... If I could feel the trace of finger, echoes of your words Just wonderful. . . you have done well with this one my friend. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This one was the one most dear to my heart-- and Sven, you are so honest in me spirit-- simply had to thank you for your sensitivity- your praise means much to me...lucky lady to know you well...serenity sends smiles... |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
very nice. I liked it. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Serenity~ I am stunned by the beauty of your words.-SEA |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Serenity, This is beautiful, simply beautiful. Cerenity |
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