»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #6
»
Silent Twin
| Open Poetry #6 |
|
Silent Twin |
|
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
|
Silent Twin I watch you, lying there, tiny hands and feet moving; reaching out in your sleep as you dream of life before life; of breathless womb and wordless safety. In your dreams do you see him? He was the brother you knew better than any other; but yet, will never know outside the quiet darkness and calming waters of my inland sea. What secrets did he share with you as hearts formed together and you floated side by side? What was he like, this child of mine that I only held alive within me? I watch you, lying there, restless in your sleep and wonder ...do you grieve too? There are only two ages of people...living and dead and you all look about the right age to me  [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 03-31-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ruth your writing is just so touching to the deepest parts of people. They just reach right in and grab you! So many things going through my head, but I just can't think of something. I shall ponder this one, and if I can come up with something, I'll let ya know! "Bonded In Womb?" I'll keep trying. [This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 03-29-2000).] |
||
|
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Wow Hottie... from whence cometh your muse? You have executed this powerfully my friend.. perhaps -- Dreaming the Lost Seraph? |
||
|
TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Ruth, That was beautiful and touching, my friend. I am at a loss for words. I can't think of a suggestion now, but if I do, I will let you know. ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it.~ Terry Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is very touching and very beautifully written, Ruth! But of course! As for a title how about your last line.....Do You Grieve Too? Denise |
||
|
Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
A very sad topic, but written so well....and yes.hard to think of a title that reflects all the ideas contained here...twins...but seperate.....together and yet not...and I'm no help with the title sorry... |
||
|
Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Beautifully sad poem you might try "whisper his name ... bring me his hug" Rex}>{{{{o> |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Whtdove...thank you so much Local Rebel...my muse hasn't been of much help of late, I am just happy to write something Thank you so muchTerry....thank you for the kind thoughts Denise...I've considered that one too Tess...that's okay, thank you for the kind comment Rex...thank you Another thought given by a friend I am seriously considering Silent Twin |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Just Beautiful, Hoot But the title is hard "Soul Mate Lost" (?) "A Twin Without a Twin" (?) "The Other Half of Your Soul" (?) I can see why you had a hard time But it is a beautiful piece Liz Now I see you just suggested "Silent Twin". That is perfect! Liz [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 03-29-2000).] |
||
|
Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
I am terrible at titles...lol...so will just say this is beautiful, with or without a title....hugs |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
The Twin. |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I think "Silent Twin" says it all! |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
I agree with Silent Twin and once again Ruth you gave us all a masterpiece to admire. |
||
|
Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Wonderfully written and thoughts so perfectly expressed. |
||
|
Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Hoot Owl....where are the kleenex?? This was filled with warmth and longing. Excellent job. I think your muse is wide awake now. As for title....how about Whispers in the Womb or The Other Side of Me? This was really beautiful. -------------------------------------------------- Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
||
|
lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Ruth, That's a tough question. It brought to mind many thoughts, but one especially of a time when we were there watching one of our own die. Not more than a few feet away lay another child maybe 3 or 4 and the doctor came in to tell the parents that she was terminal. The litle girl over heard and when the father came in ask her if she knew what the doctor meant. I shed a tear as the little girl in all innocence said she wondered why she was going to the terminal, he ask her if she knew what the terminal was. She said it's where people go to get on trains and go somewhere. I know I haven't said this well but I was just so taken back by your writing. Hope this sheds a little direction. |
||
|
Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
This is absolutely beautiful and heartrending. I love the lines "will never know outside the quiet darkness and calming waters of my inland sea." You are a master at telling a deep story in lovely poetry. I too, like the title "Silent Twin". |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hoot Owl this touches me...you have such a wonderful compassionate style of writing...I like the title that was suggested...silent twin..and I offer a new one...shared grief...because I believe the entire family will share the grief. I was talking to my new friend Maria a few days ago and she had mentioned to me that when she was pregnant she had triplets and only one lived. I only talked to her a few minutes and I mostly listened and the conversation was about lots of different subjects..but she threw that in and this poem has me thinking about all the grief she must have felt over that...and I know it is still in her thoughts. Life can be very sad sometimes...right... James [This message has been edited by jmlee12345 (edited 03-29-2000).] |
||
|
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
My Lady Hoot... as always your writing touches the heart. You and your words are a treasure... especially on this sad and tender piece. As a nurse I'm sure you see a great deal of the harshness that life can deliver... that you manage to write of it in such a beautiful manner is a tribute to the quality of your soul. Thank you for sharing all that you do. Your's sincerely, Andrew, Scott |
||
|
Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
.gif) Hoot, This is a breathtaking piece. You write with the eyes of a nurse and a heart of an angel. I'm sorry I'm without suggestions of a title, they are not my strong suit...lol. But even without the "perfect" title this is still and Amazing story. |
||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Hoot~ This is a touching piece. I would suggest 'In Silence Weeping' It's lovely, hon. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very, very nice, Ruth... You have a unique sense and ability for putting some of life's rarest moments into words... How about "Enwombed".... |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I just want to thank everyone for your beautiful and touching comments, for all your title suggestions and as always for you loving support of my work. Lucky and Rosemary...I thought of you both when I posted this piece...thank you so much for your touching comments As far as the title goes...still undecided, but I think I've narrowed it dow to two: "Silent Twin" or Nan's suggestion "Enwombed" |
||
|
jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Hey Hooter, very heartwrenching poem. I loved it. Very introspective on two different levels. One of your mental level, two, on your physical level. (womb and all) I just love it. (picks up hanky and blows nose) very touching. As for title. "Missing brother" Jfreak [This message has been edited by jfreak (edited 03-31-2000).] |
||
|
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Ruth, through tears, as I read this beautiful poem of love and loss, I kept thinking ~ Hearts Undivided I've known the loss and questioning you speak of, and I thank you for sharing this. My heart goes to yours today. ~ Claire |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Claire and jfreak...thank you both very much Nice title suggestions BTW |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Ruth, I am at a loss for words, this is sadly beautiful and it has touched me deeply. For I have lost my twin sister (still born)and well like I said its beautiful. Silent Twin is perfect as the title. What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
DA...I am saddened by your loss, but thank you for your kind words. And the title is going to be :Silent Twin |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
