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Open Poetry #6
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Loss wrestles Hope (or a better title...help???)
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Loss wrestles Hope (or a better title...help???) |
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christies heart Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189NJ, USA |
In the moment where truth dances with lies I catch the fire in your distant eyes. I want to seek shelter in the setting sun. I resist the moonlight for the chance to run. I've wandered blind on the road to shame. I've stood up for love, denying pain. Now I'm older and slightly wise; I won't fall harshly on your tender disquise. In the futile fields of days gone by I've found that trust must too soon die. In the cynics world I modestly dwell; it's better than drifting in dreamers hell. Still, I shed some restless tears for innocence robbed in earlier years. Hold my body, thrive safely on heat. loss wrestle hope, but the soul it defeats. --- Grant that I may not judge my niegbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasians Native American prayer |
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| © Copyright 2000 Christine R - All Rights Reserved | |||
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Good poem. I like off-setting the two points of view. If this was a flash of inspiration...good for you. However, it looks to me like you really sat down and thought hard on this one....even better for you. A title, how about: "A Cynical Reality Check" or "The Death of Innocence" |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is wonderful writing Christie! For a title how about 'Wrestled Hope'? or INclan's suggestions are both good too! Denise |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
I loved this work Christie, but I wouldn't change the title at all. It must be what you thought it should be. Why worry, the title reflects the work. David2  |
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christies heart Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189NJ, USA |
Thank you for you thoughtful suggestions and kind comments! I like them all. David-Maybe I should stick with the title I began with. After all, if you can't judge a book by it's cover, I suppose the same should hold true for a "poem" and its "title" Grant that I may not judge my niegbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasians Native American prayer |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Christie~ This is a wonderfully written piece. It shows the struggle within. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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