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Open Poetry #6
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Sorrow's Bite
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Sorrow's Bite |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Leave not a stone to mark this site, for I have felt, yes, I have felt of sorrow's bite. Witness not pain's pantomime, Unwanted pallor lost in sands of shifting time, for I have felt, yes, I have felt. Trailing brambles, cormorants, as starving beggar, mendicants, who stand before all that I covet, never looking, never seeing, no light from heaven's sky illuminates, for I have felt, yes, I have felt of sorrow's bite. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Witness not pain's pantomime, Unwanted pallor lost in sands of shifting time, for I have felt, yes, I have felt. Trailing brambles, cormorants, as starving beggar, mendicants, ------------ damn this is AWESOME...the words used, the perfect rhyme..the pace pulls you along perfectly...VERY well written.. i love the word mendicant...theres something so poetic about it... take care, jm and you can say baby... baby can I hold you tonight maybe if told you the right words... at the right time, you'd be mine... baby can I hold you tonight... tracy chapman |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike--I am so amazed by your ability to express such deep emotion with just the perfect words.... Excellent, my friend. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Good title, beautiful writing, powerful sting. (I would try to say more, but ...it's just plain good.) ~ Claire |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Mike, this is tight without being restricted...It FLOWED...reminded me of doing needle-point...just the right touch everywhere! Excellent! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I don't know anyone who couldn't relate to this at some point in their lives, Mike.. It's a wonderfully "biting" piece... Good work, my friend.. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
As I'm under Nan, Mike, I'll ditto her...  HUGS I love the way I look in your eyes, I'm just me tho'... We are all works in progress, no? |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Mike. Sorrow does have a bite, doesn't it? Very well done! Denise |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Thank you all muchly for your gracious comments. I appreciate the positive feedback. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Too bad you have been bitten by sorrow, Do you need a band-aid?haha just kidding! Sorry to hear your feeling so sad! cheer up there will be sunny days ahead! "Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Mike...this is a classic my friend. Very well written no matter how sad it is |
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