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Open Poetry #6
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Wendy Flora
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182
Virginia

0 posted 2000-03-20 01:25 AM


Personally, I think this poem sucks.  I love the title, but I think the body of the poem itself is atrocious.  If anyone else has opinions, please feel free to express them.  
____________________________________________________

"Shadows of Rapture"

Sitting at a window
On a warm summer night,
Gazing at the stars and
Seeing the reflection
In their fiery haze
Of the dreams I had
In the days of my youth...
Caged behind the glass
Watching my dreams
Fall with the stars.

The Dreams of Lost Youth
Fall with Found Age as Stars

© Copyright 2000 Wendy Flora - All Rights Reserved
MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94
usa
1 posted 2000-03-20 01:46 AM


i like "watching my dreams fall with the stars"...it's a wonderfully beautiful line
-molly aka sam

 Fleeting World
"Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream."
-from the Diamond Sutra, translated by : A. F. Price -- found in Teachings of The Buddha, edited by Jack Kornfield



Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
2 posted 2000-03-20 01:55 AM


This poem does not suck, and I love your title.   I know the feeling well.  
Wendy Flora
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182
Virginia
3 posted 2000-03-21 01:42 AM


Thanks.  Any ideas for improvements?  (I'm serious... I should probably repost it in CA... but...) -wen
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