Shadows of Rapture (poem) - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #6

Shadows of Rapture (poem)

Wendy Flora
Member

since 2000-01-11

Posts 182
Virginia

0 posted 2000-03-20 01:25 AM

Personally, I think this poem sucks. I love the title, but I think the body of the poem itself is atrocious. If anyone else has opinions, please feel free to express them.

____________________________________________________

"Shadows of Rapture"

Sitting at a window
On a warm summer night,
Gazing at the stars and
Seeing the reflection
In their fiery haze
Of the dreams I had
In the days of my youth...
Caged behind the glass
Watching my dreams
Fall with the stars.

The Dreams of Lost Youth
Fall with Found Age as Stars

MyPenNameIsSam
Member

since 2000-03-06

Posts 94
usa

1 posted 2000-03-20 01:46 AM

i like "watching my dreams fall with the stars"...it's a wonderfully beautiful line
-molly aka sam

Fleeting World
"Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream."
-from the Diamond Sutra, translated by : A. F. Price -- found in Teachings of The Buddha, edited by Jack Kornfield

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

2 posted 2000-03-20 01:55 AM

This poem does not suck, and I love your title.

I know the feeling well.

Wendy Flora
Member

since 2000-01-11

Posts 182
Virginia

3 posted 2000-03-21 01:42 AM

Thanks. Any ideas for improvements? (I'm serious... I should probably repost it in CA... but...) -wen

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