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Open Poetry #6
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As I Loved You
| Open Poetry #6 |
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As I Loved You |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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AS I LOVED YOU Welled in deepest, darkest eyes ‘Er wore by you to my surprise I watch the tear form and fall By virgin trail of Love's call. To stand before me speaking now Of remembering "when" and "how". To try once more lay open heart To cheat Fate whom swore us apart. I stand yet back from you to say By eyes ‘er true, I look away. Please call upon this name no more For love, yet there, shall ne'er be tore. How dare you speak of one shared soul, Dare reopen that hell-wrought hole. That sucked love from these lifeless veins, That live I now to love in chains... Of Yesterday's sweet memory Of woman stood now before me! Let not that word befall dry lips, Nor touch seduce these fingertips. For what injustice there be served By loyalties within me swerved? Would you yet break my heart again, To dare but say you loved me then? To dare but say you love me still, When love comes not by my free will... Yet stands offered to one, impart, Who holds love true and me in heart. Dare you ask I forsake the touch That needs the need of me so much? When I hold all, (less love), now true, As she loves me as I loved you. Michael Anderson [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-15-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is a very intense work, my friend.. Remember that love knows no logic. "To thine own self be true," Michael. |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
I had re-read this several times Michael,I wanted to be sure to fully grasp the deep emotions going on here. I sense perhaps the tragedy in here as well as the "Not Trully Knowing" ones feelings. An excellent piece my friend... Marina |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I interpreted this differently then Marina, I think. I thought this was a poem about fighting the over whelming feelings of love because of a trust issue. You were hurt once by fate and though you still feel strongly you can not let yourself be hurt again. It is knowing and loving but not being able to trust. Am I wrong? |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This is deep Michael...I can tell you're very full of emotion right now...you've definantly got me with this one- I do believe I'm at a loss for words!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Wow! This was passionate and heart-rending Michael.  Wonderful, wonderful poetry my dear friend.Much Love ~X~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is very powerful and beautiful writing, Michael. Well done. Denise |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Now there's the fighting spirit I like to see! Letting go and moving on, very, very healthy! Cor |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Oh, jeeze...LOL So as not to get into an in depth explanation of the poem, let's just say it's a poem about "not" choosing the past over the future. Nan - always Marina, the poem is trying to reflect moving forth from the tragedy. (Without looking back... or worse, returning to it). The feelings are well known - if not readily accepted. Marilyn, you are right. This is very much reflective of the bitterness found when trust is broken, and yet the longing to be able to trust again. Lady devina, there is much emotion within me, 'tis true. I am focused where I need to be though, (closing the door to the past to move on to the future). I know things will be much better there.  X-Angel, "heart-rending", huh... well it's about time I returned you the favor don't ya think?  Denise, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Corinne, You definately read it as was meant to be. "Letting go and moving on". And yes, there is a very healthy aspect to it. Thank you all for the replies. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-14-2000).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Michael, this is so passionate, so very beautiful and deep. You've expressed yourself clearly. And so the healing begins... Excellent writing! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Yes, tis fruitless to pine for one who does not reciprocate... after all... that person is not the one we fell in love with... eh??? nice work |
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LittleBoyLost Junior Member
since 2000-03-14
Posts 28 |
This would be much better if you fixed the meter and didn't try to force some of the rhymes. Good subject though. Thank you. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Michael...this is a beautiful piece. I can see the healing in it, it is powerful, yet very sad. Nicely written |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
^ | Uhm, what they said Excellent job Michael |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Stunning and beautiful work, my friend. This is very passionate and filled with intense emotion. Great work, as always. *Krista Knutson* I do this so this world will know that it will not change me....-GB |
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KimW Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 268Medford, Oregon, USA |
A very powerful piece Michael and it is good to write, heal and to move forward. Kim |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
WHOOA!! DOES THIS ONE HIT THE SPOT!! Excellent work, Michael. We should do anything for a person we once loved.....except love them again. I like your style. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
*sigh* This is definately something I needed to read. Thanks for making me think May I never be too busy to help another's load, Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed. --Author Unknown |
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jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
beautiful phrasing and such good flow. How can you write with such meaning and style at the same time. Alot of us cheat and bend our poetry to suit us, but you seem to roll out such fluid forms with consistently well thought meaning. "physician, heal thyself" seems to be part of what I am getting here, but who knows how many meanings can hide in your poetry. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Michael I don't know what else to say except Extraordinary work! <*\\\>< There's only two ways you can go... One way you can save your riches, And the other will save your soul. Rich Mullins |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Dark Angel, And so it has. btw, I love Coleridge L.R., BINGO!!! LittleBoyLost, First of all let me say wlecome to Passions. I have not had the pleasure of reading your work as yet but I will surely look for it. I agree with you 100% on the meter, that is always helpful for sure. However, I am curious as to your definition of "forced rhyme". I am always open to critiques on "form" but I am not sure I understand what your meaning is here. Please do clarify, if not here, feel free to email me anytime. Ruth, from a tear to a sigh... from a sadness to new hope... Healing now, living & loving tomorrow. hehe, Thanks Mistikman, glad you enjoyed. Alwye, emotion is always intense - is it not? Doesn't always have to be Dark though. Kim W, very good, indeed. Balladeer, I am humbled to get a "WHOOA!!" from you, 'tis a great honor. Satiate, glad to get something ticking in your head... Thinking is good, just don't over do it... you might end up skitzed out like me. jbowie, It's like any medicine. You know it's good for you but sometimes you have to force yourself to take it. You have a keen eye, my friend. Rebecca, I am so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you all for the kind replies. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-15-2000).] |
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LittleBoyLost Junior Member
since 2000-03-14
Posts 28 |
I hope you didn't take offense. All I meant was a few times it seemed you were rearranging your words in order to get your rhyme in the right place and other times the meter not sounding right made the rhyme seem a little off. Please don't be offended because I liked the poem. I re-read my comment and it didn't come out the way I meant it too. That sometimes happens to me. Sorry. LBL |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
No offence was taken at all, LittleBoyLost. I just wasn't really sure what you were meaning. I try to be as "open minded" to critique as possible. I can honestly say that "this" poem truly flowed from me - that left me in question of your remark. In the "Window Pains" poem, I could definately see where I struggled a bit, though. Thank you for your openness. Michael |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Look what I found digging around in here. Painful subject, but good work. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
adding to library file |
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