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Open Poetry #6
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Burning Blade
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Burning Blade |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Burning BladeSounds of sorrowful moments burn My slumber awakened to horror's turn Keep not doubt's darkness from his eyes Once filled with lust and labored lies And I, for nearing love's domain Am punished within his brutal, feigned, Dominion soft, with edges lanced Seduced and soothed by deception's dance Though every slice of burning blade Will caress with ice each breath I draw And through tears and treasures I have paid His arctic heart refuses thaw.  Claire |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice Meadowmuse. Now concerning this line "seduced and soothed by deceptions dance". How were you seduced and how were you soothed, if you don't mind telling me. James |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Well lets see We need a candle definetly a candle Than we need a fire place, for sure a fire place Then we need a blanket, can't so without a good old blanket I' sure that will melt the artic heart  Sad inside but yet so fine Well pose in line and rhyme Powerfull the statement hidden under ice I did do read this twice Lovely just plain lovely (perhaps not plain at all) Hugs to you dear Claire Thanks for sharing The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Been there, done that -- there many hearts less cold. Well done, Claire. --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Great poem I have a great warm heart if you or anyone ever wants to talk, but for now, my heart is only for borrowing, I will not give it away just yet I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion [This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 02-08-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Claire You've captured here the vision twice The one of fire, the one of ice With words you wield a burning knife To warm the passions in your life If you can't win with this device Ain't nothin' going to melt that ice! Beautuful! Liz |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Meadow, Ya know some things spoil if you take them out of the freezer. But your poem is delicious. Sy |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
May you find the heart that's always been searching for yours ... Rex}<{{{{o> |
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Majestic Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264houston, tx. |
what beautiful writing.... Hence forth and ever after, Seek ye love..Nay, not love; Seek ye True Love...that thy heart may be warmed. "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~ |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thanks to all who have responded...for reading, and for the encouragement. Very earnestly appreciated tonight. Claire |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
"His arctic heart refuses thaw"...I shivered when I read that, thinking how cold he must be. Good work Claire! Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
adding to library file  |
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