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Open Poetry #5
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The Rain
| Open Poetry #5 |
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The Rain |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678
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The Rain ~First Knight~ I sat in the rain and wondered. Would it stop? My head pounded at its sound as it crashed upon the ground. The thunder is strong and I must endure the rain. The greatness of it all The power it possessed. I wondered.... Mom's hot soup? Day trip to the lake? A swim where I grew up? Maybe go and tease my sister like days of old, When it was the only way I knew how to say I love you. I know..... The corner store Ice cream was always to be, And friends never took long to find you there Dad working on the old car, Handing tools and the smile. Never gave him the tool he asked for. He never complained. "CRASH"..... As the sky opened up and again I remembered.... The rain. Shook by the force, Power with respect. Another kick to the head. And I heard the "Crash" of thunder, The storm grows Lighting flashed as my head cleared again.... and again darkness as he closed my cell door. It will always rain while I am here, But this rain has no water. No life giving force. A taker by design. Dreams take me far away. Far beyond my life as a POW. Having served as a soldier in the Panama conflict in 89 and Desert Storm in 91 I understand and respect those that lived this... Drive it like you stole it...LOL [This message has been edited by First__Knight (edited 01-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 First__Knight - All Rights Reserved | |||
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Very interesting (besides that it's well written) Reminded me on my Dad who also went through war and became a POW Well done The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
David - Interesting .... shows versatility with feeling. ~*Marge*~ |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is great very interesting , Well written  |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This is an intriguing piece, to be sure. I like how you've surprised the reader with the sudden disclosure of the reality of the setting. Just one small suggestion...double check your tenses to solidify your time distinctions. A very stirring poem!  Claire |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This is a bit different for you. I like what you've done with it. Makes one think about what it must have been like for them and also how our dreams can see us through. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Very interesting !!!!!I like it. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent piece! You took me right into the mind of a POW! Denise |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Thank you all for your support and kindness Drive it like you stole it...LOL |
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