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Open Poetry #5
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I shall not sleep
| Open Poetry #5 |
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I shall not sleep |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia 
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" Shall not Sleep" I will not sleep These feelings I keep You will not tell me Of the fate to be I am lost without you But lost within you Your soul to mine In frozen time To hear its cries Of self deny's Inside I see your face to me To be and see This inside me A twine of time Spent in your mind So sleep I shall not do Untill I know more from you |
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| © Copyright 1999 Julie Nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
well loved, simple enjoyable and excellent flow. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Good description of basic and honest emotion. "A twine of time Spent in your mind" ~love this line. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
This is very lovely...a longing of the heart stands out in this poem. I've not seen your work before, so let me say welcome to Passions, and I will look forward to reading more of your poetry  It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
"I am lost without you But lost within you" Wonderful lines!!!!! |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Whiskey, you did a gret job with this one. I can feel your emotion in this one! Great job! ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~ |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Love this Whiskey, well done !! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Whiskey, Good job, enjoyed the read. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Thank you to all for your wonderful replies |
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Tamera Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121 |
Whisky, very good work. It is amazing how love can render one sleepless. I look forward to reading more. |
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Theraaven Junior Member
since 1999-12-11
Posts 11 |
Very pretty! I also liked the "Twine In Time" Line... Thanks |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very nice! Denise |
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destiny502 Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 57OH |
you have a very unique way of using words..its wonderful. your write lovely poems from what i've read of yours so far. and i'm looking forward to reading more!  |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Thanks everyone for your kind replies |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
This is written in such a way it reaches right in and gets you - great work! ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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Betty Gravitt Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 222Georgia United States |
"lost without you, lost within you". Beautiful lines. Whiskey this is so true. Wonderful poem. B Gravitt |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Everybody likes the same line! Me ,too. I lked the whole poem Liz |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
With these words I see the exact feelings I have had about a love. You have put it all together and could easily share how this feels to another person with just these words....Even if they have never felt this way before. Well done I have learned that the pain of a lost love will fade, But the memory of having loved will last forever. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Thankyou Im glad everyone liked it |
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