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Open Poetry #5
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Drunken Tragedy
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Drunken Tragedy |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
This poem I wrote togehter with my dear friend Tori. With the intention to post it at High schools and MADD. So far it is posted at MADD London, Ontario. We shall continue. Once Upon Time Morning came. They always come Drops of dew lined up one by one There was nothing different from any other day No one could predict what was on its way The band of tar laid out in soil No one could see the thin layer of oil A car sped down so fast The needle trembled it would ever last! A driver young, careless and free Behind the wheel but he did not see His vision impaired, not yet awaken’ Hill after lucky hill the car had taken Friends were sitting right beside In drunken laughter on their homeward ride With the thrill of speed deep in their eyes How could they see or realize? The last set of numbers reached by the needle No warning, nor sign of evil The car came flying high over the crest Swirling out took away their breath Their car forced into the other lane The dice have fallen in this deadly game The car crushed into the oncoming van Rolling over and over again Spinning out like tin can Tires squealing shattered glass Smoke and fire engulfed their pass Nothing could defy the impact force Both cars were taken out of course No sound escaped from either car The drive home went too far All lives were gone, forever more A widow left, such pain she bore Her husband became a casualty Four teenagers died, instantly The child, the father she will never know So much pain and only memories to show Five lives were recklessly thrown away Friends and family feel such dismay Five graves lined up in single row Hovering shadows of a mournful glow Parents and siblings standing there Nothing is left, but despair Widow, …and child hardly grown Now standing there, …alone Five crucifix and flowers standing still Mourners’ now are wondering, was this “His” will Once upon a time and now five lives are gone Be careful with yours, you have only one Have we done all we can to educate? Why do these things repeat? Is there nothing we can say? Is there not a better way? © Helmut and Tori, Oct.1999 < !signature--> The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. [This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-09-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Helmut Becker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
This is a very powerful piece! I'm glad to see you sharing it with others! You two did a nice job on this! Speaks volumes - I'm sending it back to the top in hopes more will read it! Only one small suggestion, in the forums, the title is really what draws someone in to read a poem....I would have named this one something along the line of...."Drunken Tragedy"....or something to give the reader an idea of what it is....This is just too good to be hidden under a "neutral" title. Does that make any sense? There are sooo many poems that go through here, if you don't have something that will make the reader WANT to read it, often it goes by unnoticed! This should be read by all !!! Just a little suggestion - the poem is awesome though! Keep up the good work you are doing! I speak from experience on this topic of drinking & driving. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to get people's attention, sad to say. Welcome to the forums, hope to read more from you! Gennifer ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000! |
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CrazyChick Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132 |
You did an excellent job writting this poem. I lost a best friend to a drinking and driving accident, it happens to often. This poem should be read by all. Great job!!!!!!! |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
poetFemmeFatale. Thanks for your advise, you are right. Well I guess as a newbe I try to read them all. There are so many nice pieces there. I have yet so much to learn and I like what I have seen so far. PS: can i edit the posted piece? CrazyChick I'm sorry to hear. The account is based on facts. We all together might just make a difference. Thanks you both for your kind words. I will sure let Tori know. The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Wow..... all I can say is I echo the comments above. I think Pff said it all. I to hope all will read this poem as it has touched me. |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Thank you Jer. As a Firefighter (judging by the picture) I'm sure you get to see this too often Thanks again Pff, I have taken your advise and changed the subject line. The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Ahhhh.... so true. I see alot of horible things. I'm a FireFighter/EMT. I see a ton of other medical stuff to. But let me tell you one thing. It's even worse to walk up to a car crash and know someone that has been hurt. Scarry. I have have it happen to me several times. One time it was my own mom! |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh wow - I see you've changed it! Very cool!  I think you're probably the only person ever to take advise from me! hehe **blushing and quite honored!  Just joking...I do hope it helps catch the attention of more reader's though. I'll make sure it stays afloat for you, ok? Seriously, this is a very important issue to me too. Great job again. |
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Lisa Graham-Marshall Junior Member
since 1999-12-31
Posts 23Nottingham. UK |
What a powerfull piece of writing. Thank you for sharing it. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I have seen these headlines too often and I have shed too many tears. I'm glad you wrote this piece Liz |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Poetfemmefatale Thank you as I said before For knocking on my upper door  As man I never argue, no not with a femme I lose it with mine now and then A Lady makes me feel so small Especially when she is "Femme" and "Fatale" I really do think your thought about the Title was right and that why I changed it. Thanks again and forgive the small poem above, could not resist lol. |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Jer Elizabeth Santos Lisa Graham-Marshall Hope your mom was ok. Must be devestating to find her in an car accident.Thx Jer. Elizabeth and Lise, Thx for your nice comments. The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Helmut...this is one that definately needs shared as I said the first time I read it. Hey, you just joined and you're one step ahead of me already...I don't know how to change a title!! |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Thanks Ruth I don't think that I'm ahead of you, your one of my idol's. (hope is spelled this one right.) It's that little icon in your header line, looks like a note pad with a pencil. The third from the left. That's where you can edit or delete the message. Hope this works for you. Thanks for your comments, your poems are just as important. The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
ROFL at Helmut - You are a funny one! You need not fear this femmefatale, for my bark is far worse than my bite (most of the time...) LOL Depends if there's a full moon or not, and what kind of MOOD I'm in! hahaha Hey, I really liked the little poem you wrote for me up there!  Very sweet, and sorry if I make you feel small, I have a feeling you're quite the opposite. You have a big heart, and you're full of mischief! I like that ! hehe** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A true tragedy for sure. What will help? I have an idea but the cost would probably be prohibitive for the auto industry and thus to the comsumer but then again, what price is too much to save even one life. You know those attatchments that they place on the ignition of convicted drunk drivers in some states with the breatholizer gadget? Sure some people would just have others start the car for them, but I'm sure it would cut down on the number of drunk drivers on the road. Not everyone would be able to convince such a 'friend' to do this for them. I think something like this should be on every car. I also think that driver's licenses shouldn't be given to anyone under the age of 18...not saying that there are not some 16 and 17 year olds mature enough to drive, but it would eliminate many of the immature drivers. Also, I think one DUI stop should cause a person to lose the privilege to drive for at least a year...driving is a privilege, not a right. Just some of my thoughts. Fabulous poem, btw. Denise |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Poetfemmefatale You’ve looked right through my cover up Ripped it away with a single swap Me…..mischievous, never would I dare Mam’ Not with a Poet like you “femme” Yes you ripped away the disguise and said it all Hope you like it “Poetfemmefatale” Thanks you again I like your idea Denise, perhaps we could make a letter and send it to the big car makers. See what they have to say. Asking does not cost anything but time, but not asking cost perhaps some lives. I think we on to something here. At least we would make them think. Thanks for your input. < !signature--> The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. [This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-10-2000).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Helmut!!! I'm so glad to see you've figured out how to post - now I just need to find your other poems! Congratulations on getting over your "condition" and joining this group - you will see what I mean about them being so generous and giving... looking forward to many more pieces. Sunshine Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
It looks like you found them all Sunshine. There is more to come but I have a hard time keeping up with everything. I'm sure I will learn in time. My condition...well it's still there but it's getting a little bit better every day. The people here are angles if i might add. Thanks < !signature--> The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. [This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-10-2000).] |
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SnglDad Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 115Seattle area |
This is one reason that we should all think twice about getting behind the wheel after having a drink. Great work. Thanx for sharing and God Bless |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Yes you are right. Hope we can make a difference And they say never give up hope Thank you SnglDad The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Helmut...this is such a sad reminder of what alcohol and/or drugs can do to people. The tragedy and the ripple effect is so tragic and NEEDLESS. I really enjoyed the way it was written and would hope that wakes some people up. Am sending it back to the top. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Thank you WildChild. I think that something can be done if we keep writing about it. Thanks for your kind words |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
...speechless here |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I really enjoyed the effort you put into making this poem be heard - let's hope more read it. |
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