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Open Poetry #5
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Holding Back (Reposted by request)
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Holding Back (Reposted by request) |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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 Holding Back I will never again, give myself wholly to another. Even as I lay, languishing in your arms, our bodies still damp with sweat, naked, as the sun rises in the red morning sky, part of me will always hold back. Yes, those three words may pass my lips, like the sighs that passed over them moments and hours before, when I cried out your name in ecstasy; and I may even mean what I say, when I say them. But, there will be a part of me holding back, for to give you all of me would be to lose a part of myself. Yes, perhaps someday, as we drink tequila on a sandy beach in Mexico, watching the sky turn from blue to orange beneath the setting sun; I will tell you all of this and more. Maybe, I will be surprised to find that you too are holding back. And as we reach the bottom of the bottle, drinking to where only the worm remains; when everything we've wanted to say, has been said; 'till we've convinced ourselves, as well as each other, that we have nothing to lose by holding back... maybe, just maybe, it won't be so hard to swallow. When you truly know the meaning of the word Love, you will also know the meaning of the word Pain ~Javan [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 01-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Words from my soul Ruth. They spoke of me the first time I read this and they speak to me now. You am I have travelled such a similar road. Your words often speak my life and my soul. There is one that I love unconditionally. It is because it is safe and the possiblities of pain are few. Manybe one day the distance will be nil and then we wil see if the holding back happens or if I can give freely of myself. Bravo my friend. |
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manalive325 Junior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 21 |
You have written this so well. I want to ponder over it for a quiet spell to drink all it shares. I see a need for definition here though. I want to know if holding back is a protective mechanism to prevent a further hurt and shields a heart. Or, is it simply assertion of personal power and not allowing oneself to be lost in another's shadow. Nice Piece, really enjoy your stuff. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent, Ruth! I remember this from the first time...seems even more powerful now. Denise |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow Ruth, this is expressed so perfectly. I recognized my heart there in your words. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I love the last verse. Beautiful words, Hoot. Elizabeth  "Boys and girls together, me and Mamie O'Rourke Tripped the light fantastic on the sidewalks of New York." |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
WOW as soon as I wipe the steam from my screen I will tell you this is wonderful and how glad you reposted it for us! Paul |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you, Ruth. You cannot post this one too many times. These are true feelings, for sure. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Ruth, Thankyou for reposting this so we all could read it , Its wonderful |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Marilyn...thank you, I know this speaks your heart also my dear friend as we are so much alike. One day, I'd like to be drinking that tequila on that beach in Mexico with you (being there as two couples) when we both learn that to hold back and to love can't really happen. Paul...hope I didn't cause any damage to the computer  ThanksDenise, Martie, Elizabeth, Balladeer and whiskey...thank you all for your words Manalive...thanks for joining the forum here and reading my words. In answer to your question, I'd have to say that it's a protective mechanism. But, in turn the other holds true to some extent. I can't say this piece reflects my current train of though, although I still do hold back, I also see the problems in that and desire a relationship where I can give myself fully without holding back anything or having anything held back from me. Not sure if that makes sense or not. |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
I understand. Anguish is anguish. It answers by no other name, and by no other means behaves the same. ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG |
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Grandma Jo Member
since 2000-01-02
Posts 51 |
This is lovely, and so true in so many cases. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A beautiful picture and a it fits so well with your wonderful poem. Once I've convinced myself that someone is right for me I find it hard to hold back. I just want to feel those romantic feelings ...although most of the time I try to get romantic before they've even decided if they like me...which doesn't work so well. What part are you holding back? James |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Hoot, This is poetry, just flowing from the heart, and -what a heart! This is a heart that has known the whole spectrum of feeling, this is a poet who has written the whole spectrum of emotion. This is a poem that has captured my heart. It is wonderful, Hoot Liz |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Liz...I just want to say thank you for the wonderful reply. Yes, my heart feels many things...hopefull true love will be added to that list someday Rosemary and Grandma Jo...thank you both James...that's a hard question to answer. There are many things one can hold back. I guess I'm holding back enough of me so that when love is gone, I'm left with something...make sense?? Holding back for me is a difficult thing though as I am extreamly loving and romantic, but sometimes that self preservation thing does kick in. Not always a good thing  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Oh yeah - We do take our past experiences into our future ones don't we??? |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Excellent verse, Ruth. Love the ending, although Gen and I would be fighting over that worm...no holdin' back, there. I hope one day it isn't so hard for you to "swallow", and you can give yourself wholly to another, there's no feeling quite like it in the world. Michael |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Nan...how very true Micahel...I wish that also, thank you for your kind words |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Another piece I enjoyed with pleasure Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you" |
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CrazyChick Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132 |
You did an excellent job writtng this poem. It truly speaks from within. Great job!!!!! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
David and Crazychick...thank you both |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Very sensuous, yet somehow a bit poignant, too. Says a lot about human nature, here. Like how you keep bringing us to sunrises and sunsets, too. Are we ever able to totally give of ourselves to another? I'd like to think so, like to think that maybe next time, just see how wonderful the ride of life can really be! Maybe it is the difference between closing one's eyes on the rollercoaster or keeping them wide open, screaming, every sensation fully explored! See how thought provoking your poem is? (smiling) Corinne |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes Hoot Owl I think I understand what you mean cause when I give alot it seems to eventually somewhere down the line hurt a lot. People can not hurt someone that doesn't care for them....they hurt the ones that love them...thats been my experience. James |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
And if you ever stop holding back And offer all that you have to give Only to be told "Stay Back!" It would be hard to keep wanting to live. So I hope you find a heart so true That yours won't need further protection Someone to heal the hurts of your past Someone who sees in you, perfection. |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Glad I got to read this! perhaps you should read Blades of Grass...it's along these lines |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow James...you dug deep to find this one. Thanks for bringing it back up around. I understand what you're saying. What's that old saying..."We always hurt the ones we love" Suthern...thanks for the nice poem RSEvans...beat you to it Thanks !At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Ruth beautiful poem, thanks for reposting!! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ |
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