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Open Poetry #5
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My Beta Spends His Free Time Doing Laps and Dreaming of Becoming a Spider
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Open Poetry #5
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My Beta Spends His Free Time Doing Laps and Dreaming of Becoming a Spider
| Open Poetry #5 |
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My Beta Spends His Free Time Doing Laps and Dreaming of Becoming a Spider |
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Wendy Flora Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182Virginia |
There I was, Bobbing at the bottom of the bowl Some idle Tuesday (maybe Sunday … hell, what do I know?) I'd already done my rounds, Checked out the diver - Yep, still drowned . Checked out my treasure chest - Still there. The weird girl had dropped the food And bolted… Same ole, same ole. I started contemplating Taking a nap… Then I saw it! This thing, this beautiful thing! Peeked its head out from behind The Black Box. It was a beautiful black beauty A glistening ruby on its belly. I hung frozen behind the castle, Eyeing the creature as it extended each spindly stalk, Heading across the Flat Browness. It moved so gracefully, gliding more than anything else. O, that I moved with such dignity! I dart to and fro, not like this lovely thing. I moved right up to the Clear Hardness to peer at it. It reached the Tall Whiteness Extending one fin-stalk out to touch it The, wonder of wonders! It began moving up! Higher and higher it went, and I Floated up to the water's surface to watch. When it reached the Highest Tall Point, It began to do something… I don't know how to describe! A silvery strand began to descend from the thing It looked like a drop of water But it wasn't. The drop of water started Looking like a shape It was round like my bowl, But with lots of lines. It was beautiful! All shimmery and new. What I wouldn't give to be that creature! To be able to make… to create… Instead of just able To swim. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wendy Flora - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Now this is wonderful, creative writing! Great thoughts and innovative creation. Congrats from another one of the fish!  |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
This I like. Muchly. |
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Wendy Flora Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182Virginia |
Thank you. I'm sure Cupid (my fish) thanks you too! -wen |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Very cool perspective. Very unique... I'm curious to know what brought you to write this? |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Wendy, Creative, true, good paint, yes, well done, and I did enjoy the read. I'll have another. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Stunning HUGS Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Wendy Flora Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182Virginia |
What brought me to write this? A few things... My fish (Cupid), a really boring Linguistics class, and a painting in an art magazine entitled "Jerome Spends His Free Time Daydreaming of Being Reincarnated as a Snake." I loved the title of that painting, I was bored in class, and I was thinking about my fish... voila. (not as glamourous as a flash of lightning or anything, but it was still fun to write) -wen |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wonderful free verse...extreamly creative |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
What a unique perspective, fabulous free-verse...Its flowing and dreamy without being sappy...GRAND KUDOS!!! (If this was CA I would suggest a honing of some unnecessary language; Its not and I will only if asked.) Strong Applause Wen... ~haze |
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Wendy Flora Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182Virginia |
Oh, please do! I don't care if its CA or not, I love help anytime. -wen |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
Slick perspective. Cupid also aspires too something greater than he/she is. I'm liken it. There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief - Hendrix |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Linguistics class... took that in college and really enjoyed it... but then I like and such and it reminded me of code breaking. Anyway... your catalyst mixture seems to be far more safe than say that bolt of lightning. Cool stuff... thanks again for sharing. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hehe.... This reminds me of times when I'd look out of my picture window... and feel like I was the fish in the tank - and all those people outside were peering in at me... ..Nice one... |
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My Beta Spends His Free Time Doing Laps and Dreaming of Becoming a Spider
