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Open Poetry #5
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Not Thinking Clear
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Not Thinking Clear |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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Yes, the morning dawns yet once again Like so many countless times before But yet so unlike those others when Bright beams of love would ever pour From your dear heart; now…nevermore. As I sit here by myself, alone Oh, I have the grandest news to share And not thinking clear, I grab the phone Then realize…you are not there No, you are not there…anymore. I was driving down the Boulevard Oh, just a few days or so, ago And not thinking clear, I turned toward That way I always used to go… But you are not home…anymore. Yes, my time with you was far too brief; No, I wasn’t ready to let go My heart is burdened ‘neath my grief And yearning for that ‘time-ago’ When you were there, yes…evermore. Yes, the world goes on since you’ve been gone Yes and still the seasons come and go But I’ll never know another dawn Like those dawns that I used to know When you were here, no…nevermore. 11/98 Denise |
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| © Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Oh Denise. This was so very lovely, sad but lovely. It pulled at my heart. Beautifully written my friend. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh Denise...so sad, yet so beautiful. Your repetition here adds to the poem a great deal. I really like what you have done with this. Oh....by thw way, I had to read this one as soon as I saw the title....because you and the words "Not Thinking Clear" didn't compute with me. I think you are probably one of the clearest thinkers I have known. [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 01-05-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Denise, Very beautifully written Liz |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks so much, Marilyn, Ruth and Elizabeth for your kind comments. I wrote this during the long dark period of grieving after my father passed away. Writing sure helped ease the pain. Ruth, wow, thanks for that compliment! I never thought of myself that way! Denise |
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Dreamer_556 Junior Member
since 2000-01-04
Posts 34 |
Denise, I understand how you must have felt. I felt the same when my uncle passed away unexpectedly. Beautifully expressed! Really captures the feelings. ~*Dreamer*~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks for reading and commenting, Dreamer. It is appreciated! Denise |
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Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
beautiful, d, this moved me. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Denise: My heart goes out to you sweetheart. I know those 'not thinking clear' times so well. Big HUGS Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Very moving piece, Denise! We definitely lose parts of ourselves, sometimes some of the best parts, when those that we love depart from our lives. The only comfort lies in faith that we will be with them again one day, and that they are there with us in spirit. Corinne |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Seaangel, Rainbow and Corinne for reading and for your warm comments! They are appreciated! Yes, Corinne, we do lose a part of ourselves, that's a great way to explain what happens. Denise |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is a beautiful expression Denise and very well written. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
A great poem Denise and I agree with Ruth..your repetition adds something special. I like it very much. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Martie and Munda, for your kind responses. I'm glad you liked it! Denise |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Denise you've done a wonderful job on this. It really shows the longing and the missing of one you love. sniff, sniff, with a big ol' tug at the heartstrings. <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Dysnder, you've expressed your feelings so well on this piece! This is a classic! Nathan |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Rebecca and Nate for your warm comments! Denise |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Denise, this one pulled on the heart strings. Very beautifully done. And here's a ((HUG)) for you. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks for your kind comments, Eloise. They are appreciated! Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Geez, Denise, you can really tug at the heart. This is the greatest use of the word "nevermore" since Edgar Allen Poe. A beautiful piece. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Denise - this reminds me a lot of some of the poems my grandmother wrote to my grandfather after we lost him.... a bit of nostalgia here for sure....Very nicely done...  |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Very nicely done sweetie...oh, and join the club...I haven't thought clearly in years...maybe ever? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
So full of sadness... Very well done!!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Balladeer, Nan, Toerag and Suthern for reading and for your kind comments! I still cry when I read this, being reminded of those times when I went for the phone to tell Dad his granddaugher was engaged, making a wrong turn when out shopping to pop in and see him as was my custom when I was up that way, etc. The pain caused by the realization that he was not there was never stronger than at those times. My Mom passed away when we were young and I guess Dad became everything to us kids since then. More so than any of us realized at the time. Thanks again everyone, I'm glad you liked it! Denise |
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