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Open Poetry #5
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And You Sat Upon A Swing
| Open Poetry #5 |
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And You Sat Upon A Swing |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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Across the southern sky I've seen you dancing there Brilliant in the sunlight The radiance of your life shining Casting long shadows on the parched fields The sounds and smells of my childhood Drifting back to me like dreams on a summer night The creek rushing by on a humid day A lonesome train whistle bellowing to the absent The hymns played on an upright piano Flowing out into the air Through the windows of the old cinder block church Where the old men sit sleeping And the ladies are fanning their faces. Children at play A ball And a bat So much joy in the still air of the afternoon. And you sat upon a swing. Golden hair clinging to your glistening face. And a smile as big as the sky, In your eyes, The universe. I remember. (Footnote: I'm really not this prolific friends, I'm just posting some old peices here. After I get these posted my work will come very sparsely.) How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
I'm sure glad you mentioned the use of a "prophylactic" cuz this is....oh wait, you said prolific....never mind....LOL>..this is quite good Mr. Hawk.....I doubt seriously you'll run out of the "genius" you're referring to.... |
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Dreamer_556 Junior Member
since 2000-01-04
Posts 34 |
A brilliant piece of work! I like the way you chose your words - very descriptive, which I think is fantastic. ~*Dreamer*~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Your work is worth waiting for Hawk... this is lovely! Another nephew, hunh? *G* |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
yep will ditto suthern on this one *g* lol...the descriptions you use so well allow the reader to *see* his or her own memories...excellent work my friend  |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
hey, Hawk I'm having a lot of trouble with your rhyming on this one. I mean, "ball" doesn't rhyme with "bat" does it? LOL - Just kidding. This was a terrific piece of work - just like you, only better. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This piece reads smoothly and easily...the poetic quality, to my way of thinking, lies foremost in the suggestion of memory's influence. Very nicely done.  Claire |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Fantastic memories! Wonderful poem! Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
ROFL@Toerag!!!! Excellent images here on display. I, too, can look back and hear ball on bat and outdoor sounds.....but sometimes I wonder about today's kids. Will they look back and hear Nintendo games and computer keys? It's a different world. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks to my friends old and new. And, yes, there is a finite volume here. Back to werk I go! How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
How our memories weave their magic....love you LR, you are music to the soul! HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks RG! You saved me with a song.. Oh deer, Mario whumps and Soccer thumps... soccer my friend... |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Sweetheart: Annie isn't a patch on you but you both have a haunting magic about you..Glad I was there, glad I'm here...for you! HUSG < !signature--> Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 01-04-2000).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This was tender and touched my heart. Beautifully done! In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Beautiful piece this. My children will remember softball and soceer, hockey and skating. I adore the out of doors as do they. (I also can't afford the latest in high tech equipment...lol) I am sorry that I have not read more of your work but I will remidy that as my time allows. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
So you're not a bottomless pit, eh Reb..?? Hehe - That's the beauty of posting on a new board - You get to have a whole new audience for awhile - and you don't have to overwork, ya know??? - Nice one, btw..... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Excellent posting...I absolutely loved the feel of this one, not to mention your knack for great imagery |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
No Nan... I have a bottom... some say it's cute! ROFLMAO .. oops I think it's gone now. Thanks everyone! [This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 01-05-2000).] |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Wonderful poem , this is great |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
PS is doing a whole lot of boosting... which ultimately becomes my pleasure. |
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