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Open Poetry #5
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This is the first poem I have ever let anyone see. Let me know what you think.
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Archives
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Open Poetry #5
»
This is the first poem I have ever let anyone see. Let me know what you think.
| Open Poetry #5 |
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This is the first poem I have ever let anyone see. Let me know what you think. |
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catwomen Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 49 |
Way up high away from eyesight stands a tattered figure Her body is sickly emaciated, as the girl who lives in it is too preoccupied to realize she is thinning away. She looks out onto the panoramic view before her The sight promises a long trip down A nauseating feeling settles in her stomach, she comforts herself by oathing that soon the feeling will subside…………….. Forever “No more shrinks”, “No more disappearing acts”, “Don’t worry mother you won’t have to pretend I’m dead anymore” Her legs begin to teeter uncontrollably Ungluing herself from solid ground She cries out in one last desperation “Why didn’t you stop me” Her question is left unanswered, unheard As she crashes onto the deaf rocks. |
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| © Copyright 2000 catwomen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Wow...a very powerful statement... Keep it up...  ) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Welcome to Passions, Catwomen! This is very sad and filled with lonely desperation. It is very sad that a person can get to the point where they feel they have no other options. Please check your email for a special welcome! Denise |
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L Tiuch Member
since 2000-02-04
Posts 151NY |
Your desperation is cetainly a cry for help. I feel like I want to "catch" you mid-fall and stop you as you asked. Really powerful. Welcome to Passions...it's my first day too. |
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catwomen Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 49 |
Thank you for reading my poem, however I must admit this was written a long time ago and I know longer feel this way. |
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Alina Le Ann Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 40INDIANA |
WOW!!! This is one of those poems that sends chills down your spine.... and that's exactly what it did to me. Well Done Alina Le Ann  |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Catwomen, Welcome! This poem is tragic, sad, and beautifully written. I'm so glad you don't feel that way anymore!-SEA |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
WOW! THAT WAS A GOOD POAM. IT GAVE ME CHILLS.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
A very moving poem. I was there, felt that way after my father died. So glad you chose the rougher road to travel, because on the other road there really are no options. Welcome. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Catwomen a very deep, powerful and emotional poem I'm also glad you don't feel that way anymore it must have been a lonely and desperate time for you. Welcome to our little haven. Tracie  |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Hey ... can't say as I've ever felt like jumping ... can think of a few times when I'd like to have helped a couple others off the edge though Rex}<{{{{o> |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
catwoman, I was taken with you poem and with your talent. A welcome addition to the Passions forum. Sorry it took me so long to get to this poem, it's hard to keep up with all the postings. But anyway, welcome, dear poet. Look forward to many more Liz |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Welcome my friend. . . yes, I know how hard it is to show that first poem to the eyes of others. . . but here you have found a community that will help you to become a better poet and a better person. . . we are indeed a family here at Passions. . .and family is always there for one another. . . I love this poem. . .I like the symbolism and the power of your words. . . it's filled with very strong emotions. . . excellent. . . Welcome!! --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Archives
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Open Poetry #5
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This is the first poem I have ever let anyone see. Let me know what you think.
