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Obsession
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Obsession |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Bored In my motel Open the door The boredom is hell Down to the bar Have a stiff drink Just three other folks I sit there and think Two fat guys With a lady so fine Sitting at a table They finished their wine. They soon left Their glasses now empty I walked to the table, Touched her glass gently. [This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 01-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Toerag - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sounds like lonley to me, but you did paint a very real picture here and the ending was very touching. Hugs! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wow!! I like this one very much, Toe... |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
wow, I hadn't seen free verse from you like this, very nice work  |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Was that YOU???? All kiddin' aside, just the right touch of gentle poignancy, Toe. Me thinks you might actually be a gentle man, hiding oft times behind dry wit (but your secret is safe with me). Corinne |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Toe - this is the Toe who we see only a little, and too little at that. Very succinct, old man. I like it a lot because there was a time I could have written it, too. On the lighter side, did you palm the generous tip and go have another beer? lol |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
[email protected] nut! |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Hotel bars are sad it's true There's usually not a lot to do, You flip around and if you're able, Sometimes there'll be somethin on cable. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A glimpse at your tender side, Toe! This is sweet! Denise |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow Toe...I found this to be one of the best pieces of work I have ever seen from you. Wonderfully written and free verse too |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Toe, when a ya gonna learn? You're not supposed to be looking for a piece of glass......  Other than that, the writing is great! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
thanx "Deer".....really..... |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Toe, you have the biggest heart! I'm so glad you show it. -SEA |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
It's nice to see your sweet side Toe, of course we all KNOW it's in there!!!  Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Toe's writing such good stuff, I'm putting my eraser in the drawer...  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Hey, this is a very sweet poem I like the ending Love ya Liz |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
So, so fine Toerag. I know that feeling. Loved this poem. So gently revealing. James |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Toe- This is so tender. I think it suits your heart. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
I loved this poem Toerag! Nathan |
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dvlishimp Member
since 1999-08-01
Posts 126USA |
What a beautiful piece. Makes me want to sigh at the way fate effects our lives. {{{{Toe}}}} Keep sharing your heart and humor with us. And thank you for the glimpse of both. And where two raging fires meet together, They do consume the thing that feeds their fury. Shakespeare |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I sat there waiting bored with the meeting seeing you sitting at the bar I tried to smile in your direction but you seemed bored with it all My clients decided to leave too soon for me to catch your eye Leaving, I turned to see you touch my glass so sweetly My heart stopped at the missed chance of meeting one as tender as you [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 01-29-2000).] |
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JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
Great piece Old Man ... I do like your serious schtuff ... well, I like your funny side as well ... hmmmm, does that mean I like *you* ? ... |
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