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Holocaust (A challange from my co-worker)
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Holocaust (A challange from my co-worker) |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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(I have a co-worker who is convinced I can write a poem about anything, her challange was to write about the holocaust...perhaps this poem proves her wrong.)  Holocaust Three feet deep, the ditch it stands Quiet is the early hour In a line, the women march And at its edge, they cower Soldiers stand around them Their guns they all hold high Shots disturb the silence And all the women die Prodded, poked, herded up They’re forced to climb the ramps The fathers board the crowded trains Headed for work camps The children let out anguished cries As they stand there skin and bone They once belonged to a family Now they are left alone Bodies buried in mass graves People lived in fear And history’s painted with the blood Of Six Million who died there < !signature--> I can live with the idea That we are merely actors Playing a part But I do wish Whoever is writing my script Would learn to use A few more Happy Endings ~Javan [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 01-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I would agree with your co-worker. You can. Well done, Ruth! Denise |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
This peom brings me to silence. The writing is good, the context expresses the suffering that leaves me without words. DH |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
With no shadow of doubt I know you could and you did. You have a special gift. Thank you for keeping the memory alive Helmut So sad, ..so so sad The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
It doesn't prove your co-worker a bit wrong, Ruth. Your challenge has been well-met. Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Wow, Ruth, this one gave me chills. You paint the picture very well. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Very moving, Hoot, a subject which pierces my soul Well done Liz |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
deleted! Sorry Ruth, thanks for your wonderfully kind reply though!! [This message has been edited by Echo Rhayne (edited 01-28-2000).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
ECHO ...wow, what an excellent portrayal, although so heartbreakingly sad, you've spoke volumes in your words. Please submit this to somewhere that publishes poetry on the Holocaust. It's a wonderful reminder of the acrosities commited. You've way outdone my little poem with your reply  Everyone else...thank you. I wrote this in about 10 minutes at work for her last night. Perhaps it's something everyone should remember from time to time and perhaps if we do, the horrors commited there will never occur again. I can live with the idea That we are merely actors Playing a part But I do wish Whoever is writing my script Would learn to use A few more Happy Endings ~Javan |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
A challenge well-met indeed. Something as horrific as the Holocast I'd never attempt in writing. It's too easy to use pat cliches for evil, sweeping generalities for suffering, and whatever we absorbed by watching old reels -- which brings the sights, but not so much the sounds, the smells, and all the other tactile horrors. Having said that, I also have to say both of you did a tremendous job with it. You steered away from simplicity and really hit hard. The image of "women in a line/all of them die" (paraphrase) and the other poem, with its effective pairings of words that wouldn't go together in a saner world, ... just, wow. Great, great work. Let's hope those sorts of actions are never repeated... Mike |
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