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Open Poetry #5
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Heart and Air
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Heart and Air |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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Heart and Air There lies in a heart pulse a twist of life everything infant known that new born laugh first cry at light joy and loss life-found Yet emptiness between beats discords and you stop. So subtle quick the body wrench quiet have you ever felt between each caress of blood push lifeless? We take our next breath convinced of one to follow too fast they move for regard for care these precious intakes of staple air and blood rolls from the romantic organ sung to and honoured in poem and song our life giver of more than love alone ~ Catch the loss between a pulse and treasure your living more Feel a gasp of empty lungs even as they fill But surrender yourself to complacency and forget the reason we sight and sing at all *Inspired by dear Liz who knows the true preciousness of blood and air* 29.12.99 ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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| © Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, Severn. I cannot tell you how this one hit home for me. After losing 1/2 a lung in June, there is nothing in life I will ever take for granted...especially a breath of air. This is written wonderfully ... Great job! Michael |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kamla, Oh!, I was already gasping for air before I reached the end of the poem, Now you leave me breathless! This is a wonderful poem, one of your best, and there is too much here to comment on. Your talent sparkles! This is wonderful! Love ya, Liz |
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Betty Gravitt Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 222Georgia United States |
Never never take anything for granted. Tomorow it could be gone. Lovely Severn. B Gravitt |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
This was layed out so well...Like the heart beat....and the breath between them..I like it  I have learned that the pain of a lost love will fade, But the memory of having loved will last forever. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Geez K! It's far too early in the morning for me to be reading something like this! Echoes of some deep thinking here m'dear. One does take things for granted often, and usually regrets it at a later time. This has to be one of your best in quite some time! |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Severn: Can't say much more than ... "wow". This is outstanding. After "lifeless", I started counting my breaths. Too bad this isn't CA. This one is worthy of discussion. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Wonderful poem , took my breath away , so beautifully written |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Extremely awesome, my dear!!! Nothing can convince me that you are not the Queen of Freeverse!  Brava! It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Kamla...you have a knack for experimenting with your freeverse in a way that aids dramatically to the reading of it. This is laid out perfectly and draws attention and breaks the thought right in the areas it needs to do so. I applaud your talent |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla, this is a most wonderous poem. You continue to impress me with your words. You flow and glow and grow each time I read something new. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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Tamera Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121 |
As i read this I was holding my breath, waiting to breathe...wonderful! Tamera |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Geez, it's all been said and I agree with every word. Another awesome piece of work. No one has a bigger romantic organ than you yourself! |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Echoes of above Kamla. Very well done. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Geeze, Balladeer ... the places a depraved mind such as mine could run with THAT comment!  |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Michael - that is so awful for you to have gone through. How are you now? I'm glad to have connected with you through this - consider it dedicated to you now too! And thankyou my friend. Lizzy - breathe breathe! Thankyou hon. Betty - I agree so much. Thanks. FKnight - Thankyou! I think I've said before that layout just sort of sneaks up on me - I designed some of it, but now that I look at it after being distanced I see what you mean! LOL. Chris - yes, an astute observation for that early in the morning. Thankyou King DT Jim - hehe, wouldn't want to get me started (or you!) Thanks! Whiskey - thanks very much. Caroline - But Mistress Best I must contest... hang on...been here before haven't I? LOL! Thankyou my friend. Ruth - that means a lot. Wow. Thanks. Martie - I can only say the same for you, truly. Thankyou. Tamera LOL - hope you have recovered! Thanks. 'deer - thanks, I think? hehe - You know your words mean the world my friend.Eloise - thankyou! Jim - You leave Balladeer alone...  K...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This is exceptional in message and verse. Awakening to the gift of each precious breath quite recently, this piece touches me acutely. Thank you. |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Great freeverse, Severn. How often do we take these things for granted too. Nathan |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Kamla, wise words indeed we should take nothing in this life for granted. Right down to the air, the sun and the rain. This was wonderful, I think, in my opinion one of your best At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato) ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
What a lovely thought about something people take for granted for. Very nice. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wise and wonderful and beautiful! Very lovely, Kamla! Denise |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
WoW, I don't know what to say, your poem has left me both breathless and speachless! ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~ |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Severn: It has all been said, so I'll just sit back, sigh and read it again.. HUGS Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Deep, poignant thoughts, delicately worded, and set in a unique form which adds so much to it! I really appreciated this unusual and thought-provoking piece! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Meadow - You're welcome - but thankYOU - for reading and your gracious comment. Nathan - indeed, those thoughts are what prompted this. Thanks! Isis - My friend - that means much, thankyou!!! Astraea - Thankyou indeed... Denise - thankyou, O lady of the sonnets. Echo - it is wonderful to think that my words can have that affect - I appreciate it, thanks. RG - thankyou, huggy One! Rosemary - wow, thanks! K...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
I don't know how this one missed me! (Actually I was on holiday!!) but I'm glad I caught it while looking for the first millenium poem on Open Passions... We think we shouldn't forget life is precious and may end in an instant but it's hard not to...poems like this remind us. Take Care Kamla. (wake up soon!!! I wanna go shopping! bawl!! howl!!) |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Beautifully written, Severn! and you are so right, too often we take life for granted. Corinne |
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jaxjoy Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112Texas |
Extremely thought provoking. I could feel myself becoming more aware of the life inside me as I read this. Wonderful poem. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Sea - thankyou hon - and don't complain...I'm up now and have fulfilled the shopping obligations! Love ya. Why thankyou Corinne! Indeed we do. jax - that is the effect I was striving for - glad it worked! Thanks so much. K'...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
None of us has any guarantees, do we? Very nice job, Severn.... I like your style... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
And I, Nan - like yours. I need to come along to a workshop and learn how do something different!!! Thankyou - I 'preciate it. K'...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath |
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Coegwyr Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 35 |
I can’t say it any better than the replies you have had so far, well written. Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool: But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I have to agree with the rest Severn, this is an Awesome piece! A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Coegwyr - Thankyou! Shannon - well, The Awesome made me grin - thanks my friend!! '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath |
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