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Open Poetry #5
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Twilight
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Twilight |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
TwilightThis ache 'neath my breastbone is ancient and ill From endless betrayals that sicken and kill My wretched soul's dying, my mind's taking leave No dreaming, for there are no dreams to achieve This haunted heart's hollow, yet black sorrow~full These empty eyed horrors have taken their toll My breath, nearly done now, comes quiet and weak Why could I not call to you, why could I not speak? Why couldn't the thought of your touch fill my loss? Your guiding hands knowing each bridge I must cross Your sandlewood eyes, your earthenmusk scent My lips can but taste our sweet love that's been spent And as I lie waiting, life's respite draws nigh My fists limp beside me, no tears fill my eye Your lingering fragrance still clutched in my chest My last breath is you, love ... and finally I rest  Claire |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Meadow, Very dramatic, but well done and I enjoyed the read. Sy |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent and an enjoyable read, as always, Claire! Denise |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sandlewood eyes, earthernmusk sent--I love the way you put words together and the feeling you create. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Excellent effort. Easy to tell the effort that went into your poem. Enjoyed the read. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This was very good!!!! Loved the word choices!! Take Care Bridgette Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Sy, Denise, Martie, Mike, Justbleu...Thank you all for reading. Yes, it was a bit more histrionic than I normally write but every now and again the drama insinuates into my work, and I generally allow my muse free reign.  Claire |
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Anne Member
since 1999-12-31
Posts 78 |
Sparks my imagination! Well done as always! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Nicely written as always |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
I too, loved your word choices! Very creative and dramatic! JOY |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Claire, this is beautiful. The flow of the words just roll off the tongue. Very well written. |
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