Open Poetry #5 |
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looks like rain |
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Kevin![]()
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa ![]() |
welcome back to town old friend why don’t you get out of the rain it seems like it was last week when I kicked you out of my heart, pain. and here you are with plans to stay so soon your bags have been unpacked and nothing to you I can say to keep this weary heart intact so dry off here, you might as well its not like you will soon subside you’ll be here long, I can tell for tears are pouring hard outside. |
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© Copyright 2000 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Wow. I love this one. Simple, to the point, and beautifully written. Lovely! ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
Wonderful corralation between tears and rain ![]() |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is so sadly touching...pain is a pain, isn't it? Just never knows when to leave! Good one, Kevin!! ![]() Denise |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
So sad and helpless, you've written this very well. May I never be too busy to help another's load, Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed. --Author Unknown |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Well written, but terribly sad ![]() At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Kevin, you astound me, poem after poem. I am beginning to think that you are really seventy years old, and are posting a picture from your teens. You couldn't possibly have such talent, speaking deeply as though from a long life, and so eloquently, with a knowledge of so much pain, if you were really that young! Excellent poem whatever your age. |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kevin- What saddness seems to come in your rains. May you find a bright umbrella to shelter you until the rays of love shine brightly upon you. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
I agree with Rosemary, there on old guy behind that picture, you couldn't be that young. I don't think you've admitted your age anywhere have you. This is so good. I love how you put so much meaning into so few words. parker |
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Kevin![]()
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Seventeen in body, seventy in mind =) thanks for the replies guys sometimes i read my poetry and swear to my grave that I couldnt have written it, its like there are two me's =) but i assure you, im not even considered an adult till this august, i cant even go in the adult forum! lol such is life |
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~ViXeN~ Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 93Guelph, Ont. Canada |
Kev, this one is sad! i like it but it breaks my heart to know that you are feeling like this! shannon |
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