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Open Poetry #5
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Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 35


0 posted 2000-01-14 11:48 PM




From here  
       to the tip of the Greater Antilles,
       we know the myth
       of the Greek called Achilles.
We know
       he was dipped in the River Styx
       by his mother to save him
       from Jove's final fix.
We know
       that she carelessly covered his heel
       and so sealed his doom
       with no room for appeal
To the Gods
       who guided his enemy's arrow;
       how else did it reach
       a target so narrow?
Fact
       or a fiction of Homer's invention,
       the tale of Achilles
       deserves current mention.
In my case, you see,
       against all odds
       and without the help
       of vengeful Greek Gods,
A sniper
       scored with a toxic dart
       straight to the cusp
       of my unmanned heart.

© Copyright 2000 Shrinking Violet - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2000-01-14 11:59 PM


Very nice, Violet! I hope you didn't wind up with a heel!  
Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 35

2 posted 2000-01-15 12:24 PM


Don't worry Balladeer, I cut all heels down to size.
Rus Bowden
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 139

3 posted 2000-01-15 04:32 PM


Hi Violet,

I like the almost instructional way you relate the tale of Achilles and call upon the reader to make the parallel at the end.  Nicely laid out.  Enjoyed this, very much.

Rus

Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 35

4 posted 2000-01-15 06:21 PM


Thanks Rus Bowden for your appreciative remarks. Glad I studied my mythology.
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
5 posted 2000-01-15 06:31 PM


i like this alot... a very different type of emotional poem that gives me a new perspective to look through...  

sincerely,

 **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2000-01-15 08:03 PM


I really like this poem... We all have our hidden Achilles agenda, don't we...

Have I mentioned that I'm glad you're here? We really need a good shrink around this Passionate Place.....

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
7 posted 2000-01-15 08:44 PM


This is great I like this alot , Very different  
Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
8 posted 2000-01-15 09:32 PM


Yeah!  Mythology reference and how beautifully woven in too!  Lovely.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."


Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 35

9 posted 2000-01-15 11:11 PM


poetry kills - Most of the time, I do not know the effect my poetry is having on other people. To give someone a new perspective is gratifying.

Nan - I would like to be my own shrink, but the feedback I get from this group of poets makes me realize that I need other people.

Whiskey, Astraea - So thanks for the feedback you have provided.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

10 posted 2000-01-16 03:05 AM


I've got to hand it to you, the title alone just sucked me in. This whole poem is very original, and I loved the last stanza.

Thanks for sharing!

Mike

Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 35

11 posted 2000-01-16 12:36 PM


Thank you, bsquirrel, (Mike) for your message. Your appreciation came at the right time.
Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 35

12 posted 2000-01-16 12:46 PM


I have tried to send my thanks through to you, bsquirrel, but it hasn't been recorded. So I am trying once more to tell you that I appreciate your appreciation.
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