»
Discussion
»
pipTalk Lounge
»
How are your Manners?
| pipTalk Lounge |
|
How are your Manners? |
|
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
In a national survey about America's manners more than three quarters of the 2,000 people polled said courtesy and lack of respect for others in American society is a serious problem. More than half think things have gotten worse in the last few years. Some of the issues are: Poor customer service in a place of business (causing some people to actually walk out) Talking in a loud voice on a cell phone (in public) Aggressive or reckless drivers Use of foul language in public So? What do you think? I know I've walked out of a store because I was being ignored and others were being helped before me (I tend to be invisible I guess because it happens all the time). I don't own a cell phone and would like to have an electric zapper to cause some cell phone users to get a 'shock' - I especially don't like to hear someone's private business or family argument as I'm standing in line to get popcorn at a movie! I tend to be a moderate driver (but I do exceed the speed limit - I think 55 is just an AVERAGE!) And swearing? Don't do it. |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
define aggressive driving - is it a matter of speed, or is it a matter of rudely cutting people off, riding someone's side so they can't change lanes, or sitting in people's blind spot? -Dave |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I would think it's rudely cutting people off, riding someone's side so they can't change lanes...... |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
I have a tendency to find the constant use of dirty language to be one of the most offensive 'lack of manners' prevelant in society today. I do not tolerate it being used in my presence ... and I'm quick to reprimand if someone tries it. It's almost impossible to watch television at all because of the use of filthy language ... let alone try to find something to watch in mixed company or with children present. *Yes, I know there are other channels out there and I make sure I watch them. As far as rudeness in customer service areas, it is not something that should be tolerated. Everyone has a 'boss' that just might care that I won't be back because of the actions of a rude person who works for them. I'm a courteous shopper and diner and I will not let rudeness go unreported. I'm a courteous driver and let the idiots fly by without a 'ruffle-of-my-feathers'~ I do get tremendous delight in seeing many of them pulled by the 'blue light special' on up the road !  Good manners show respect ... not just TO others ... but ABOUT others. I was taught to use them ... and passed them on to my four children ... it's nice to see that they apply what they were taught~  And as each of them work with others ... they are quick to teach good manners also. I wish this post would get hundreds of responses ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
I too get ignored at stores and always wonder why. It is very disconcerting to ask for help and when I finally get some, a friend of the clerk or some lovely lady shows up and the clerk is off like a rocket in the middle of my questions. I use a cell phone but only in my car and only in parking lots or at home. I can't stand to go to a public restroom and some one is talking on a cell to someone else. I would not like my conversations to be heard like that. Another thing I can't stand are people who have total disregard for others on the road. I don't drive crazy or particularly fast, but I do maintain the speed limit and when some clown cuts me off or sits in my blind spot it just makes my blood boil! One thing that really bothers me and it seems to happen all the time is I will go to a restaurant for coffee or a light snack and invariably there is always some loudmouth wanting to express his/her views on religion or politics and they always look at me as if to say "I'm important and every word that falls out of my mouth is golden." This happened yesterday and it still irks me. It is not necessary to include a whole restaurant in a conversation built for 4. All I wanted to do was read my paper and drink my coffee. Even the wait staff ended up being roped into this conversation. It was hard to get service this way. Patience is the ability to idle your motor, when you feel like stripping your gears. Author Unknown |
||
|
Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Hm. Bad customer service vs. cell phones. What about this conundrum: at our coffee shop, the baristas are a bit like... er... nazis... we DO control the place, and our regulars are frequent and plentiful enough that if an 'outsider' does something especially rude or unacceptable, the costumer ISN'T right... they are ostracized. There is a certain line that must be stepped over before this action is taken; we provide excellent service and advice, along with sarcasm and wit at your personal expense... but we also insist upon courtesy in return; refreshing, really, to work in a place with that kind of approach. Example: if you walk in talking on a cell phone, no one will pay any attention to you until you shut. it. off. It’s a given rule, agreed upon by all employees; you're order WILL not be taken until the little addiction box is put away. We do this out of personal belief/disgust, and respect for the other customers who have to look at the ass at the counter rambling away at full volume. ~grin~ It’s amazing the kind of autonomy you can gain at some jobs paying hourly wages. p.s. to caffeine addicts everywhere: remember, we ARE supplying you with your legal drug of choice. Be nice to us: we could serve you decaf. What? I am NEVER hyperbolic. |
||
|
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I had no idea that costumers frequented coffee shops so much. sigh...I know what you meant, in SID the customers are ALWAYS costumers...what is this world coming to anyway. There ought to be a law. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
A cup of coffee is good for relieving the eye strain of sewing rhinestones on Cher's dress.... |
||
|
RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
Hmmm I am guity of blabbing on a cell phone as I shop through the mall, usually because I see an outfit that my sister would love and I call her and I'll be describing it to her, lol. I'll be honest with you all, there are times when I am get into a very bad mood and I will curse but I don't curse AT anyone, I just mutter it to myself. As for driving, I am a safe driver, I don't cut people off or give them the finger, mostly because I don't want anyone to crash into me! I love the privilege of being able to drive and I wouldn't like having my license suspended so I'm a very careful driver. OH, and Rule #1 The CUSTOMER is ALWAYS RIGHT, when I'm doubt refer back to rule #1! That's how I feel! One of my worst habbits is eating with my fingers because I'm just lazy to use the fork lol and sitting with one leg on the chair. hehehe My BIGGEST pet peeve is people who constantly TALK in the movie theatre! It drives me up the wall, if i paid good money to see a movie, I also want to be able to HEAR it too! |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
DECAF????? now that would be rude |
||
|
Bec Member
since 2001-02-23
Posts 475Canberra |
Actually, I came across some rudeness in customer service only the other day. My boyfriend and I were waiting patiently at Red Rooster for someone to serve us. There was no-one at the counter, and no bell or door alarm to tell them there were customers, so we stood and waited. After several minutes, we decided that was very rude, went next door to a bakery and were served by a very friendly woman before we'd even decided what we wanted! "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you." |
||
|
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Any man who uses profanity in front of a woman or child should be jailed. Any woman that uses profanity in front of a child should be jailed. Any man or woman that uses profanity displays their ignorance and bad manners (i.e. poor breeding). Any man that does not open doors for women or walk on the traffic side of the street has no manners at all. Any woman who refuses to let a man be a gentleman lacks manners as well. You want rude? Spend a day in NYC! |
||
|
RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
Interloper, you are right about seeing rudeness in NYC, I've lived there until I was 10 and seen plenty of it. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Rudeness exists everywhere, you shouldn't single out one city!!  |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Here's a tangent question. . . Does rudeness exist because we allow it to?? In other words, have we as a society allowed rudeness to flourish simply so that we ourselves do not appear rude as well? If someone is talking on a cell phone in a restaurant, what do you do? Do you say anything? Why or why not? Do you believe that this leads to the thinking that "I can talk on my cell phone here. . . who's going to say anything??" ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I don't own a cell phone. |
||
|
Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Well, the fact that "Manners" was capitalized reminded me of a really dumb joke kids told in elementary school. I'm not sure if that speaks to my lack thereof, me immaturity, or my selective memory... Be that as it may, I think a lot of people are simply losing respect and common courtesy. A while ago, a guy opened a door for me. Actually it was two years ago. It shocked me so much that I still remember it. My parents went on a cruise a year ago, and the tips were included in the price of the food. My parents said it was awful because the workers knew they couldn't lose their tips, so they were rude and unhelpful. They went on other cruises where tips were not included and said the service was excellent. Maybe we just need more motivation...  Kielo |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
My manners are fairly good whenever I walk into a shop. I don't know what it is but I've never been ignored. However, if they do try something funny with me like an attitude, they do get the full brunt of my anger and then a talking to their manager. It's not a nice thing to do but it helps them remember for future customers. I'm guilty of talking on my mobile too in public. I personally can't see anything wrong with it. I wasn't asking anyone to listen to my conversation so if they do so, they're the rude ones. Eavesdropping is annoying enough as it is without having people complain about doing it. "Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen |
||
|
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
I cannot agree with Marge enough.... Nothing irks me more than a rude clerk or waitress.I am of the opinion that there are far too many people in these positions that would serve their employers better in areas of "reduced public exposure" (if that is at all possible). I am a grocery store cashier. I ENJOY my job (usually singing to the music on our P.A. system) and MY customers KNOW they are valued. I take great pleasure in making each and everyone of them feel special and wanted. (even the grumpy ones) do you know how far a smile goes? On to the road~~~ I have to say that two situations top my Pet Peave list. Nothing makes my blood boil more than being STUCK behind someone turning left that has failed to use his signals thus informing those behind of his decision. The other is the weaver who thinks that all of us are moving too slow and that the speed limit is just a suggestion. If you need a laugh and a reality check click on the link ~~~ http://home.cogeco.ca/~sherrygardner/shopping.htm Cherish the good memories past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. |
||
|
Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
I hate when I'm sitting in a theatre, watching a great movie and someone's cell phone goes off. That's rude, but the most rude, inconsiderate and insensitive thing I think I've ever witnessed occurred at a funeral I attended a few months ago...some stupid wench's cell phone started ringing in the middle of the service. She didn't have the sense to shut it off before she came and then she let it ring as she stood up and left the chapel. |
||
|
Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
I was taught at a very young age about respect. I feel that I have very good manners, in most areas. I have to deal with customers every day, and the only time I am rude to them is if they deserve it. I had a man scream and swear at me as soon as I answered his call. I simply told him if he was going to continue to be abusive that I was going to terminate the call. I do own a wireless phone but only use it at appropriate times. And if I am anywhere other than at home, in my car or outside, the ringer is muted. A friend of mine who was in her 70's past away earlier this year. Now, you want to hear rude? During her service a cell phone rang, not once, but twice. And, some idoit behind me had a cell phone that kept going in and out of service, and the phone beeped every time it did so. Drivers? I don't even want to go there! ~Sheri |
||
|
Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~Confession: I tend to be an aggressive? driver, AT TIMES, (though certain areas around here demand it if you actually want to _get_ anywhere), just last night after a few moments of torment and harrassing from a guy behind me (ok so, I sort of cut him off, but the person I was originally behind wasn't going anywhere) I used my finger, oh, eee, (held the little thing out there for a good mile, really),...(he was getting mean!) -- (please know though that I _am_ usually concerned for the safety of others as I hope (right) they are for mine), and I also confess to owning a cell phone, though it doesn't ring, and I don't talk on it inside of anywhere, it usually stays in my truck, where I talk on it only for a reason and never to just chat,... Otherwise, I think my manners are quite nice,...regardless of the poor exhibits I witness on a daily basis. I have a lot of concern for the way that I treat people, I do. *Peace, (don't hate me). |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
if you're driving less than twice the speed limit - i'm passing you. i have two cell phones which i'm on far too often to suit me. my idea of a break means i turn my phones off. however, i ALWAYS turn my phone off in a theater, i would definitely not even take it to a funeral, a wedding (unless it was my own and had an arrangement with a friend to call me at an 'opportune' moment to 'save' me...). i will take it into a restaurant, though i make every effort to be considerate of others and their meal... just as you probably don't want to hear my conversation, i usually don't want you to hear it. the one that i have little say about is my nextel - basically a two-way radio. it happens that i'll be in a store and someone will buzz me and start talking. lol - i usually exit quickly or ask the caller to stand by until i can find a good place to talk, as anyone nearby can hear BOTH sides of a conversation on a nextel. manners are one thing, tolerance another. this is the day and age of constant communication... being such, tolerance will have to be developed for those who ARE constantly communicating, because the generation growing up right now will see it as natural, and in ten years, you'll find that NOT having a phone in your ear will be the unusual thing. C |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
this might make the cell phone thing a little easier to deal with http://msn.com.com/2100-1105-875043.html |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
quote: please insert your own breach of manners (such as aggressive driving or use of foul language) in my previous post above. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I don't swear in public (and rarely in private) I don't drive aggressively (I do tend to go over the speed limit but not aggressively) I'm not rude to salesclerks even if they are rude to me I'm not rude to drivers who cut me off in traffic |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
~Interrupts nice, mannered, friendly thread~ Well Interloper, no offense but your statements have all annoyed me, and I'm going to elaborate on that Nice set of blanket statements you have going there. Don't agree with any of them. Jailing profane adults..Let's test this theory of yours with one possible scenario: A parent: 'Oh no, a curse word slipped out, send me to jail and away from my child!' Better for the parent to educate the child about what was said, and explain to the child that it was wrong to say it and apologise to the child. Considering that that child will soon, if not already, be hearing it at school. Mind you - we could always jail 8 year olds couldn't we? I notice you don't have any problems with women swearing in front of men? May I ask why not? Old fashioned thoughts of male-superiority operating here? (Sorry to bring in feminism...but well, this IS a discussion forum is it not?) And then there's that one about women not letting men be gentlemen...lots of issues of control there...'let me be a gentleman, or else you're rude'...hmmm...highly problematic. Highly manipulative, highly reductive, and highly capable of allowing double standards to operate. /Insert/ - What if I don't want the door opened for me? Last time I looked, I had five fingers attached to an arm that could open a door perfectly well. Heavens - I've actually opened doors myself FOR men! Should I be confused about my gender? Walking on the traffic side of the street? Why? Are men's bodies more capable of withstanding the sudden impact of a car at 35 miles per hour? 'Don't worry my fair damsel I'll stop it!' "THUD!" 'There we go, we'll just call an ambulance for the driver...' Or, is sprayed mud the issue...?/end insert/ So I assume Interloper - oh I've just had a bright thought! This is all rhetoric, with a sardonic basis and you don't actually endorse the jailing of thousands of adults for swearing..but let's continue on in the vein that you are actually serious. So I assume that you have never uttered any profanity before? If so, naughty man, I suggest you get yourself down to the police station this instant...AND while you're at it, have a look at some family geneaology to sort out where on earth your terrible breeding could've come from. I've come to the conclusion, that in terms of your statements I must be terribly ill-bred. My poor mother. ~back to nice, mannered, friendly thread~ [This message has been edited by Severn (04-05-2002 10:58 PM).] |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
quote: ok. . . but, could you please tell me before I do it?? for some of us, these kinds of things are hard-wired into our brains. . . I have my Father and 12 years of Parochial School to thank for that. . . but, I'm wondering. . . would you react the same way if you had an armful of packages or what not and didn't have the door open for you by a male (if they were the only gender around). . . *wondering when this was going to creep into the thread* ------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
on the gentleman vs. lady issue: respect is the key, from man to woman, woman to man. i too had issues along the lines of K's in regard to Interloper's reply, but didn't have the time to be antagonistic.  |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
you know... while we're at it: would someone please clarify the difference between swear words and their "clean" versions? darn damn what's the difference? why is one 'offensive' while the other is perfectly acceptable... |
||
|
Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
'Don't worry my fair damsel I'll stop it!' "THUD!" 'There we go, we'll just call an ambulance for the driver...' ROFLMFAO!!!!!!! this could be something to explore the overturned thread... or should we start a new one where Edward overturns the carriage? [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (04-08-2002 06:22 PM).] |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Respect, yes, that's the answer. But, I thought that I might get some thoughts from K on the subject. . . you know me. . . I like to ask questions. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thoughts...hmmmmmmmmmmm..(I'm not meant to be here sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh..I'm meant to be going to school but I feel sick  so, sorry school..)A Treatise On Manners by K Take care to always cross the Road delicately and make sure you look left and right (left first for some Nations, right for Others) - this is Courteous to the Drivers of Car-riages. Oh, sorry, getting my threads mixed up AGAIN duh. Honestly, I think it's dependent on situation in terms of the customer is always right...here's a situation from the annals of my pedanticness... Me - at McDonald's (generally yuck, but sometimes yanno - you just have to have it). Ask for fresh everything like I always do. Specifically say 'I don't mind the wait' as I always do. What do I get? NON-FRESH chicken nuggets, tough as old leather boots. So, I went up and politely (seriously - I was polite) asked the manager to inform the pie/filet girl that it isn't hard to load six new nuggets in a fry basket and set it gently in the frying vat and then remove it after 4 minutes. Sigh. The world is just too much sometimes. Mope, whine. I believe I was in the right. So there. Now, on the other hand...take my current part time job. Market Research. I get to ring people up and politely (or I get fired) ask them to take part in a survey. All they have to do is say no right? Oh nooooooooo...I've been sworn at, hung up on and accused of trying to sell something despite the clear introduction that involves words like 'survey', 'research', 'voluntary'... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...and when they swear at me, I'm not even allowed to ring them back and give them a piece of my mind (because we all know how antagonistic I am right?  )As regards men and women and chivalry. I don't often wave my favour about or wear a pointy hat or do needlework in nice towers. If a guy WANTS to open the door, fine, unless I beat him to it. Having the car door opened for me in the rain is always good, mainly because it's pragmatic. When I was in NC staying with Jamie - he always opened the doors for me, which was really nice, and weird because many NZ guys just don't have that whole gentleman thing programmed in like they seem to have in the South. This doesn't make them seem any less mannered though..just, different. Hm. Swearing in front of kids - bad bad. (not jailing bad though )What else - giving up seats on the bus for elderly people. I fume when I see younger people ignoring the elderly person who needs a seat, swaying fraily about, hanging onto the side poles...fortunately, that doesn't happen often. Right, there are some thoughts Sven. I swear to faithfully record any others that find their way into my little womanly mind.  K[This message has been edited by Severn (04-10-2002 07:57 PM).] |
||
|
Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~I know I've been driving along, chomping on an apple and been so annoyed with another drivers behavior that I've had to hold back the urge to chuck it at them, ha but gosh, get a load of this,..._I_ got a hard boiled egg??? hucked at me while driving along the other day, rofl, I instantly thought of this thread and it's mention of manners on the road, at the time I didn't know whether to get angry or laugh,...and the thing sounded like a bullet for goodness sake. sigh. Just thought to share. *Peace. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
