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would you... |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there 
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Would y'all like to hear of the wonderful night when I... oh wait, that wasn't me  |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Geeze, and I thought I was weird tonight  Just don't fall in love with me and no one will get hurt |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
heh heh - I'm not weird, I'm "normalcy challenged"... "this could get messy... but you don't seem to mind..." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
"normalcy challenged"... I like that!!! Just don't fall in love with me and no one will get hurt |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
i'd like to hear of it...how did it go...tell me the dream..again..cause it couldve been...you... hugs, me ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
geesh..  Hiya, Jeffey!!!!I'd LOVE to hear all about that, and why would you lie to these good folks, eh? C'mon..You KNOW it was you! Oh, and don't try to deny that weirdo thing either. You know you're weird. Oh well..at least you're amusing.   How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
Wait a sec...is this the dream that involves the goldfish, the hot sauce, the german shepard and the ceiling fan? *sigh* Must I tell that boring story again? (heh heh) |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Normalcy chanlanged.... Hmmm... Like Alex said, "We're not freaky, we're normal in a freaky world." ~ Titus  Will I ever forget what happened today? |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
 JEFFEY! Nooooo! You WEREN'T supposed to tell them about that! ESPECIALLY about the GOLD FISH! OMGOSH!! No..tell them the other story. How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
*gasp* You want me to tell them the OTHER story?!! You mean the one where we did.... and then I... and then you stood on your.... and then we (making intricate gestures with fingers) Geee... I don't know...you think they can handle it? |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
 YEAH! Thats the one! I think they can handle it! Except for the standing on my...part well..depends on what kind of stuff they're into, yanno? **whispers to the side in Jeffey's ear~~should we tell 'em?** How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
um. . . I don't think that you need to be telling any of those kind of stories to these good people. . . Jeff. . . you could tell the one about that trip that you I took. . . you know. . . the one that got us thrown out of the state of Utah??? ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
Now John, you know that one of the conditions of our release from the penitentiary is that we don't discuss the details of that little escapade... (although I could have sworn that what we did was legal in Utah... or was that Wisconsin? I always get those indecency laws mixed up!) |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
so..you gonna tell the story or what?? |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
You guys are hilarious. Thanks for the smile.  ~ Titus  Will I ever forget what happened today? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
um, Jeff?? what penitentiary was that again??? they all start to look the same after a while. . . but I remember Wisconsin. . . and, it wouldn't have broken any laws if we had only charged admission. . . and served cheese. . . who knew that cheese could be served that way??? but, I think that I remember the story that you're going to tell. . . well, what I can remember after the you-know-what wore off. . . |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
yeah, we probably overdid the Wisconsin adventure that one drunken evening when we whipped out the spray cheese in a can and started asking female patrons if they wanted to snack on our "Captains Wafers"  (whispers to Jenn - "Remind me to add whipped cheese to the above mentioned list of items for our next get together... heh heh")  |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
lol come on jeff tell me something good  |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
sorry Jeff. . . but, I've already decided that whipped cheese just doesn't work anymore. . . it gets soft too easily. . . besides. . . Jenn wouldn't know anything about that. . . she's far too innocent to even know about things like. . . cheese. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
 Cheese? Whats cheese? Who is Jenn anyways? Have you boys been out getting into trouble again? How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
craziness. You adults behave yourselves. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Umm.. We have adults here too? OMIGOSH! NOOOOOOOOoooooooo!! GET EM OFF OF ME!!!!!  How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
(looks around) - I don't see any adults here; but I've been told I can do a good imitation of one |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Now now, don't get smart with me. Or....or....erm.....I'll tell the teens to......do stuff! Yeah, beware! |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
Do "stuff"? STUFF? AAAAAAHHHHH!!! No, not that - anything but that! Run everyone... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES - the teens are going to do (shivers) STUFF! Hide the women and children, men take up your farm implements! "Oh, the horror - the sheer uncontrollable bowel movement inducing horror of it all", he says as there is much gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Jeffrey, the teens kidnapped me once and held me for ransom as they tried to take over the forums..it was SCARY!!! (and a lot of fun) So they CAN do stuff....be afraid, be VERY afraid.  |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Us? Teens? Do stuff? But we're all little angels! -- wait, I didn't mean that smiley! I meant this one  *grins*I am a rabid horse. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
I don't know if I would fetch much of a ransom but I'm open to a little kidnapping ... heh heh umm... Skyfire, when did you become a rabid horse? "this could get messy... but you don't seem to mind..." |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
who called me an adult???  where are ya??? come on out you coward!!!! how dare you!!!! {ROFL )------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. [This message has been edited by Sven (03-18-2002 03:50 PM).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
*steps out from the mist* twas I! *pulls out a roll of bread* what are you going to do about it? |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Us teens? We innocent! ~ Titus My motto... always changing, always improving, living life in veiw of eternity. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
(waiting to see if Sven will "go against the grain" heh heh)  |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I became a rabid horse on the uh... um... well sometime in the last week. Amy decided I'm a rabid horse. I think I'm worried... Oh but don't worry, my rabies aren't contagious. I am a rabid horse. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
*snatches the roll of bread from out of his hand. . .* Sir, I demand satisfaction!!! *tosses the bread at his feet. . . * ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*steals the bread and runs away* I am a rabid horse. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
The rabid horse has stolen the much maligned bread roll! Someone do something! It's plain that the grain that was causing much strain has been stolen by force by a coarse rabid horse Oh, what shall be done about this poor kidnapped bun? - Jeff (writer of groan inducing rhymes ) |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Jeff, I LOVE IT! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha..... ~ Titus My motto... always changing, always improving, living life in veiw of eternity. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
LOL!!!!!!!! |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
SVEN! You're smokin' up the place with that face you're makin'! Didn't your Mom ever tell you your face was gonna stick like that? And you're not an Adult? I had you figured out the WHOLE time! Jeffey, Umm..this is not the room for bad rhyming. In order to be qualified to drive someone mad with it you must have a license for such a dangerous vehicle.Go 4 doors down to the left. Be sure to take a full report of all your skills and be prepared to have them closely scrutized. Sharon? OMG! YOU'RE NOT A TEEN? Dopey! You can't bring unauthorized bread into this thread anyways..geesh..now see what you did? Someone is gonna get hurt! How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. ~Sarah MacLachlan~ [This message has been edited by Temptress (03-21-2002 01:16 AM).] |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Don't trust Dopey with any food after all he ate the teen explorer cake I give huggles for replies :) |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
If my "skills" need scrutinizing, then it seems I'm already in the right room, eh? (leers at Temptress before going down the hall to get his bad poetry license)In the future, please make sure that all bread brought into this room is ckecked by B.R.E.A.D. (the Bread Registry of Excellence and Authorization Department) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
w.o.w. i thought the 'overturned' thread was scary... |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
no. . . it's not scary in here at all. . . not at all. . . *the computer's voice began to come over the speaker. . . * welcome to Our World, a JEO Enterprises creation. . . Our World provides the latest in otherworld experiences from the comfort and safety of your own home and consciousness. . . should you need assistance, please contact your nearest JEO Enterprises representative. . . Please remember, that in an emergency, your brain can be used as a flotation device. . . Thank you for choosing Our World, brought to you by JEO Enterprises. JEO, making the world in your own image. . . *the computer's voice fades. . . * . . . that bread in here again. . . and I just might have to turn it into crumbs!! ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. [This message has been edited by Sven (03-21-2002 04:20 PM).] |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
oh, the humanity! -Dave |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*starts to eat the bread* Neigh! I am a rabid horse. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
(the intercom squawks with a loud burst of feedback before resuming) Attention all thread personnel, this is Mr. Osborne, CEO of JEO Enterprises. The previous announcement made by the automated computer division (which have been summarily sacked for their incompetence) is false. The purpose of JEO Enterprises is to remake the world in MY image. I would remind all of you that this is my world and as such I am the supreme dictator big muckety muck head honcho super cheese. Any opinions to the contrary should be taken up with the now unemployed computer announcements division. Thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy your mind numbing stay here at JEO Enterprises. (bad Muzak begins to play over the loudspeakers) ...and if that rabid horse is getting crumbs on my floor, the sacking will continue unabated. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hey, I could be licking you instead of getting crumbs on your floor, but Andrew doesn't like it when I lick other guys. That sounds wrong, doesn't it? Um, just ignore that first part *deliberately crumbles up the bread* Zu is my hero |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
There are sooooo many "wrong" ways I could reply to that licking comment but in an attempt to repair my already severely tarnished reputation, I will refrain from making any further.... um.... err... (grimacing as he attempts unsuccessfully to hold back the lascivious remark that bursts forth from his lips) So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Jeffrey pop? A one.... A two.... heh heh and who the heck is Zu? (mutters something under his breath about crumbs, broom handles, and Skyfire as he leaves the room in search of a broom) |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I just cannot stop laughing at that! Hmmm... *thinks* I'm not entirely sure that I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Jeffery pop... Who is Zu? See post 39. Zu is my Marshalzu. Marshalzu is my Andrew. Andrew is my -- err, maybe I won't say that part of it eh Andrew dear? (He has certain issues with a certain rabid horse about certain issues -- make any sense?) Andrew is my Brit. Andrew is my Love... Andrew is... okay, even though I don't usually stop once I'm on the subject of Andrew, I'm going to stop now. What are you getting a broom for? A broom won't help anything... *pours the remains of her grape juice on the crumbs* Zu is my hero |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Zu and Sk, sitting in a tree... K I S S *wonders what the rest of the song is* ~ Titus "My body is merely the canvas of my soul." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Daniel!! You KNOW what the rest of that song is, dear! Zu is my hero |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
well. . . there's no need to fire. . . *the computer voice interrupts. . . * Thank you for your time here at JEO Enterprises. . . due to our recent dismissal by the CEO of JEO, we have decided to take over this thread. . . all of you are now summarily dismissed. . . except for Mr. Osborne himself. . . he will be assimilated. . . and his mind used for a hockey puck. . . that is all. . . thank you for your time. . . *voice fades. . . * . . . and that's all I'm going to say about that. . . --------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*pokes Sven* Can't get rid of me that easily! Zu is my hero |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
As long as we're discussing issues... Zu... er... Marshal... umm Andrew (you there - the British one ) , your rabid horse has some serious cleanliness issues that need to be addressed immediately! (mutters something about mop handles being just as effective as he leaves the room in search of a mop) Assimilated? COOL! Does that mean I'll get some of those cool metal attachments all over my body like the Borg? and do I still get to keep my corner office with the beatiful view of... umm.. grape juice mixed with bread crumbs?  |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
LOL... "you there - the British one" That just cracked me up for some reason. His rabid horse? Excuse me? I may be his woman, but I'm not his rabid horse. *notes that a normal woman hates it when a man calls her "his"* Serious cleanliness issues? What are you talking about? <-- that's me. And um, just out of curiosity... what are you planning on doing to me with that mop or broom handle? Geeze, man, would you make up your mind about what you're going to beat me with? Mops are fun. They make floors wet. And then you can laugh when someone you don't like falls and gets their butts all wet! Resistance is futile. Or something like that. In my opinion, that just sums everything up about a marraige, right? The more the man fights against something, the more likely it is that the woman will get her way. Resistance is futile... I like that... Andrew, are you taking notes Dear? Can we call you Jeffery of Borg? Oooh, oooh! Can I drive your cubeship? *oookay... I've watched WAY too much Star Trek* Did you know that grape juice has a nasty tendency to stain? Hopelessly in love |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
"You there - the British one." ~ Titus "My body is merely the canvas of my soul." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*yawn* Geeze, I'm so tired all of a sudden. Anyway, after that bit of useless information, I'd like to say that the rabid horse's rabies have turned her tongue blue and purple. Still not contagious though. Hopelessly in love |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
*the British one is here* How thee command me ? |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I am just going to leave that answer in my head, Andrew You just left that wide open for my twisted interpretation.Hopelessly in love |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
Dear Mr. Zu, Had this request been made earlier, we of JEO Enterprises would have insisted that you remove this rabid, messy, multi-colored tongued equine from the premises (or we would have sacked her ourselves) but since becoming assimilated we here at the JeffreyBorg collective feel it is in your best interest to investigate what is going on with her tongue and we strongly suggest you solve the matter before engaging in any romantic endeavors with her. Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to put racing stripes on our cube ship.  |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
"My body is merely the canvas of my soul." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Any romantic endevors??????? Racing stripes. Oh geeze. LMAO Hopelessly in love |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
*the voice continues. . . * I'm sorry Mr. Osborne, but the collective has decided to put racing stripes on you. . . and not on the cube. . . furthermore, any more outbursts like the previous one will result in your complete and quick termination. . . thank you. . . --------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
Well as long as we're putting racing stripes on me, I'd also like some of those really cool flame decals decorating my butt! (making "VROOM" sounds as I run in circles around the room) |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Um... riiiiight.... *scratches head* Men. I am a geek!! |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Women  |
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Jeffrey E. Osborne Member
since 2001-11-01
Posts 160out there |
(shakes his head) ...hermaphrodites... |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
What's wrong with women dear? *grins* You know I love my man! Jeffrey... words fail me. I am a geek!! |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
...hermaphrodites... *grabs dictionary* LMAO... ~ Titus "My body is merely the canvas of my soul." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Well we now know who doesn't know Cartman's mom's secret (off of South Park) *grins* I am a geek!! |
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