Just try to tell me that you dont need a good laugh today ! ! ! !

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MIdsummerRain
Member

since 2002-05-19

Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri

0 posted 2002-06-27 04:23 AM

Things You'd Love to Say at Work!

1. And your crybaby whiny-a$@ed opinion would be………..?
2. Do I look like a people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting!
4. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
7. You!……..Off my planet.
8. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
9. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
10. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
11. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
12. Allow me to introduce my selves.
13. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
14. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
15. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
16. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
18. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
19. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
20. Chaos, Panic, and Disorder …….. My work here is done.
21. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
22. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
THE PERFECT HUSBAND

There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"

"Honey, It's me."

"Sugar!"

"Are you at the club?"

"Yes."

"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

"What's the price?"

"Only $1,500.00"

"Well, OK, go ahead and get, if you like it that much..."

"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $60,000..."

"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great!, before we hang up, something else..."

"What?"

"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year ... it's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property...

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."

"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000.
OK?"

"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

"Bye... I do too..."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

For in much wisdom is much grief
& he who increases knowledge
increases sorrow...
Eccl. 1:18

Irie
Senior Member

since 1999-12-01

Posts 1493
Washington State

1 posted 2002-06-27 04:53 PM

LOLOLOL!

I can relate to many of these, but number 19 is my personal favorite.
Loved the joke too.....

Thanks for the smiles!

~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2002-06-27 04:54 PM

ok. . .now, this I needed today. . . just TOO funny!!!

thanks!!!!

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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