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Critical Analysis #2
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Old Memories
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Old Memories |
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bgryan Junior Member
since 2003-06-16
Posts 30North Ireland |
Old man with old memories dreaming of a time gone by friends from yesterday are strangers to his eyes. Walking along the seashore lifting pebbles from the sand breathing in the air,as if his last another day must end. Old man with old memories trying to find his way love of his life where are you today. Sons and daughters have their separate way no more to embrace their charm in tried,frail old arms. Old man and old memories drift into the night dreaming of a time gone by before the fading light. |
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| © Copyright 2003 B.G.Ryan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
Although, I’m drawn to this because the basic premise has always interested me, (Old age and loneliness); I leave somewhat unsatisfied because, overall, it is somewhat flat. I had to wonder if you could perhaps have built up some of the imagery, by drawing correlations; between the smoothly worn pebbles he lifted off the sand, and those particular parts of his own life which you wish to describe. Just a thought. Either way, I just think you need a more descriptive way of telling it. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com |
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