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Critical Analysis #2

Unacceptable Inconformity

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

0 posted 2003-08-14 12:07 PM

I don't usually write rhyming verse (except for sonnets), but this piece just seemed to fit....

Unacceptable Inconformity

How would you feel
if you were a red checker
surrounded by black,
one space open behind,
so you only moved back?

Then, there you had to stay,
paralyzed by your shame,
having lost what ground you'd gained,
you withdraw from the game.

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

rose
Member

since 2003-08-02

Posts 53

1 posted 2003-08-16 05:21 PM

This is a heart-felt little poem which conveys alot of emotion in just a few lines. the rhyme scheme isnt exactly the same between the two stanzas, but that seems to be ok since the poem is so short. intersting metaphor of the checker game; i like it.
~rose

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

2 posted 2003-08-17 10:39 AM

What? Kris is rhyming? Even a little bit is fun to see. It is a nice metapohor too.

Pete

MsSouthernOrchid
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 192

3 posted 2003-08-17 05:35 PM

Don't think you have written anything I have not liked so far, including this one. Nice poem.

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

4 posted 2003-08-17 08:17 PM

Thank you all for reading, and also for your kind remarks. They are very much appreciated.

Kris

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

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