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Critical Analysis #2
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Syrup
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Syrup |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Laurie Anderson, on stage, described a woman, a family, she met once. They were going to eat possum for dinner. This woman, a wife or mother, both or neither, poured syrup over the animal, "To bring out the flavor," she said. The crowd that night snickered and this confused me. Something was wrong with possum or syrup and possum? Laurie's like Diane Sawyer or Joan or Connie (I apologize, I confuse these women so often) when she chastized that Dixie Chick. So different from her voice over a group of prom-dressed girls waving to the hole in the box, as happy as they were supposed to be, but not as big as they were gonna be. The BBC said this was beamed into Iraq, its tone was patronizing, incredulous -- but what was wrong with a molasses glaze if it brought the flavor out? |
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mircasaster New Member
since 2003-08-08
Posts 9TN, United States |
*blinks in total comfusion*...maybe it is because I am only 13 or because I am culturally misinformed in some circumstances, but am I the only one that is totally confused by the above *blinks*...statement?...I think *smiles slightly*. If anyone would care to clear this up for me, I would greatly appreciate it, thank you. Credendo Vides. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
mirc -- perhaps the teen forums would be better suited for you  Brad; Not the aesthetic I was expecting. In fact, I don't see one. Not that it matters -- but, I would expect one from you. It's interesting, piTHy. Probably a good study of group dynamics. Don't really care for the block paragraph format though.. strophe it out |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hi Brad, Interesting and pithy...maybe, but poetry??? In the format you've chosen, without line breaks, etc., to me it doesn't seem to be. In the paragragh style, it has no flow; doesn't read well. Sorry, just my opinion. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu [This message has been edited by warmhrt (08-10-2003 09:20 PM).] |
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grassy ninja Junior Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 41Kentucky |
what intrigues me about this poem is the absence of men. i thought of it at first as a sort of comment on class perceptions, but as i reread it for about the twentieth time, the thing that finally struck was all the women. Laurie Anderson, Diane Sawyer, Joan, Connie, and "that Dixie Chick." then there are more vague women. in line two, i think it's interesting how woman is almost synonymous with family. then we have woman, wife or mother, and finally the prom-dressed girls. i especially like the lines: "...as happy as they were supposed to be, but not as big as they were gonna be." and i have to disagree. this is definitely a poem. it's a portrait of women, success, society. i can't pretend to understand everything that is happening in it, but i do enjoy it. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
It doesn't bring out the flavor, it masks it. Just as a "molasses glaze" of facts tends to hide what the facts mean. The molasses glaze is opinion, not fact. There is nothing wrong with it if, as you suggest, "it brought the flavor out." But that's the question, Isn't it? I have no problem with it being poetry. At the very least, it has metaphor. Nice offering, Brad. Jim |
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Legion Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 54 |
A spoonful of sugar….. Well you’re no Mary Poppins but I think your poem worked, at least for me. I was a little lost with all the names but the Dixie Chick reference was enough to point out it was another continuation of a pragmatic theme. So what if it was possum as long as it tastes good; celebrities crave attention but there’s no such thing as bad publicity; and there’s no wrong way to depose a dictator - the end justifies the means. I’m not sure the Iraq reference was strong enough though, maybe you could work on it to build a progression from micro to macro views of the same underlying theme. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
This is not a bad Sir Brad's poem. It was "She said", "he said", "my opinion" and "my conclusion." and the conclusion was slyly brought out with a question to make it sounded not too faraway from politically correct. "Laurie Anderson, on stage, described a woman, a family, she met once. They were going to eat possum for dinner. This woman, a wife or mother, both or neither," ====who was she was not important. But the truth here is disgusting ...she is going to cook a possum which lives in only Australia, New Zealand and New Guinea. And I do not sense any respect to this woman or the story teller. Sarcastic?  "poured syrup over the animal, "To bring out the flavor," she said. The crowd that night snickered" ====whatever she did, the quest snickered. ===but not "I" because "I" am sure smarter than that crowd. So, "I" "and this confused me. Something was wrong with possum or syrup and possum?" "Laurie's like Diane Sawyer or Joan or Connie (I apologize, I confuse these women so often)" ===oh, she just one of those charming woman that I hardly pay close attention..(Man the greatest silly) can't hide his tail....Here "so often" means "I" did immensely enjoy watch beautiful women.  " when she chastized that Dixie Chick." ====bring out the hot political topic " So different from her voice over a group of prom-dressed girls waving to the hole in the box, as happy as they were supposed to be, but not as big as they were gonna be." ====pretending to stay aloft to the earthly thing by commenting girls again ..."I" was so shallow.  " The BBC said this was beamed into Iraq, its tone was patronizing, incredulous -- " ===He (BBC) said, "I" did not say it..."I" was not be able to take any responsibility. and conclusion "but what was wrong with a molasses glaze if it brought the flavor out? " As Jbouder said the "molasses glaze" is not for bringing out flavor but to beautify it for visual effect. So the poem The possum means Dixie Chick. Shall we cook the Dixie Chick? as good singers good oipinons on Bush as Good singers bad opinions as bad singers good opinions as bad singers and bad opinions. what was wrong to know the truth? nothing. But "I" simply too scare to mention his own valid opinions on this topic. Is it patronizing or not to Us Government or Saddam Government? So here comes the title "Syrup". to sweat anything to pretend that nothing is happening. Obviously the talker is a person who has no principle. I believe that a true poet always have a strong backbone to stand on his own point. As a sward but not syrup.  |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
TomMark: "Possum" is American English for "opossum." They thrive in the US, constitute the bulk of Southern roadkill, are eaten, probably when little else is available, and possibly drenched in syrup. They also thrive in Los Angeles, as close at hand as our back yard. T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cat's" served as the basis for the Broadway Musical Cat's." Brad: Amazing that this delight turned up just after a posting on John Ashberry. Maybe, simplicity is the new complexity. Also reminds me of a quote I can't source regarding poetry: "Those who can't hear the music are thought to be mad." Probably cuts both ways. One has to be at least a little mad to hear the music. Probably applies to Laurie Anderson's music, too. Jim |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
My dear Jim, Brad calculates his words. BBC---Dixie Chick American-possum If I am smarter. But My logic is better than his.and Brad wanted me to work hard on his works, Jim. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
“ This is not a bad Sir Brad's poem.” Tom, that is a understatement , it is great. Thanks for bumping , but your reply was almost as good as the poem. Brad I sure did enjoy this one. It kind of reminds me of how they cook possum in West Virginia. How to cook possum in West Virginia. They skin the possum and tact it to a hickory board, smother it with molasses, mustard, onions, and catsup. Cook it for several hours, then they throw the possum away and eat the board. [This message has been edited by chopsticks (12-09-2007 09:11 AM).] |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Brad, I've been looking over "Syrup" for a few days now. Looks pretty good to me. I've got some thoughts, though. On stage Laurie Anderson described A woman she once met, and her family About to eat a possum for dinner. This woman poured blackstrap over The animal "to bring out the flavor." The audience I was with snickered, And this confused me; was something Wrong with possum and syprup? Laurie sounded like Diane Sawyer When she chastized that Dixie Chick. Following this point, Brad the actua prose events, the plot of the poem, confuses me. I am literally unsure what is happening to whom in which order. I'm not trying to be difficult here; I don't follow the which of the women's voices that you confuse, Laurie Anderson's, Diane Sawyer's, Joan I-honestly-don't-know-who and Connie (Probably) Chung is the speaker, and how this voice is different from the "her" voice. I don't understand how "her" voice relates to the line following "over a group of prom-dressed girls waving" at all. I am really completely at sea. The same happens to me again. I don't understand any connection between girls waving and the line following "to the hole in the box, as happy as they" Brad, who are "they?" I don't understand the referent at all, unless it's somehow the Dixie Chicks. I can only make a stab in the dark guess at this, though, because I can't find any kind of thread that guides me through the action and tells me what's happening to whom and in what order. The sense of understandability returns for me with ... "The BBC said this was beamed into Iraq, its tone (I'm uncertain, by the way, what was beamed into Iraq) was patronizing, incredulous—but what was wrong with a molasses glaze If it brought the flavor out? In short, good poem. I thought there were a few things it might help to neaten up around the beginning, and I took a shot at offering a possibility or two to give you an idea of the sort of thing that was going gthrough my nefarious and beady little brain. I thought the end was good, too, but I couldn't untangle the actual connections and statements you were trying to make in the middle. I think you know what they are. I think that you've simply assumed that other people's brains can follow the same skews and jumps that are perfectly clear to you here, and you haven't tried to listen to your language with a more naive ear than you're used to. I think it's woth, maybe reading aloud and trying to trace down each of the connections you think you've already made plain, to see where the referents need to be tacked down. It's some of the hardest kind of work. It should be well worth it, though, because this is good solid stuff. Hope this proves of some use. Thanks, BobK |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Thanks to all who replied (even several years ago). I didn't reply because, I think, everytime someone said something I started rethinking the poem. That 'they' refers to the prom girls. A few years back, the BBC reported that America was sending images of 'American culture' to Iraq. The idea, I guess, was to show them that we weren't bad people. So, in the studio of one of those morning shows, they had fifteen or twenty prom girls waving to the camera. But the moment I identified with the BBC, I saw Laurie Anderson again. That was in grad. school and I was in Asian studies. What upset me was the idea that we couldn't see our own culture and subculture in the same way that we see another's. And from there the general confusion set in. |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Feel up to trying another draft? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
man...I liked it better without the explanation.  But I'm fond of quirky poetry (let's face it--I'm just fond of quirkiness) I guess I should explain about the explanation? heh... Before that, I thought it was applicable to several different trains of thought. And all of them were fun to think about. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Fair enough. But what I explained were the trigger points for the poem, not the poem itself. |
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dwgpoet Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122FL, USA |
I like your giving us the trigger points for the poem, not the poem itself explained. And, that you replied after many others replied. The style did not flow for me either, however, maybe the statements stood out more with the stoppages in flow. Anyway, I am not one to judge flow since I never know what form my poetry will take until it is written. Thanks, dwgpoet. copyright dwgpoet 2007 |
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