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Critical Analysis #2
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Alone
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Alone |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
Alone As I lay in my bed watching shadows of moonlight dancing on the wall, I'm thinking, thinking, thinking, is this really all? My mind is racing as my thoughts run to and fro. How do I keep on living with my heart hurting so? My eyes search the darkness as I toss and tumble and try to sleep. My pain runs so deeply within I cannot even weep. There's not a sound in the darkness except my own pained moan. Anguish deep in my soul, I am alone, alone, alone. Mary(MsSouthernOrchid) |
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| © Copyright 2003 MsSouthernOrchid(Mary) - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ladybug Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236Massachusetts |
Hi Mary! Wow, this is different from your other two posts...darker, it seems. I like the repetition of "alone" at the end. Again, that pesky meter, hee hee...but I still enjoyed this!  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
Ladybug, I see what you mean. I do have a problem with the flow of my words. This is something I will have to work on. This is a poem I wrote during a very down period. A lot of my poetry was written during that time. Thanks again. |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
Ladybug, I see what you mean. I do have a problem with the flow of my words. This is something I will have to work on. This is a poem I wrote during a very down period. A lot of my poetry was written during that time. Thanks again. |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
Oops! You are not seeing double. I goofed! LOL |
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Ladybug Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236Massachusetts |
Hi Mary, I hear you about writing when down...I used to write so many poems during my depressing teenage/college years. Now that life is good (knock on wood), it is often hard to find my muse. And don't worry about the meter -- it is a pretty easy thing to fix, and we all have things we need to work on. That's what PIP is here for! Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Dear Mary, I think this poem could be worked on and made into an excellent free-verse. Have you experimented with free verse? If you haxen't, try it with this poem. I think it would be a good step. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
Hi Warmheart, Thank you for the advice. I have never tried free verse before, until just recently. I did try two free verse poems a couple of days ago and just posted them here. I fear I do not have it right just yet though, because no one has replied to either one! Obviously, I have a lot more practicing to do yet along those lines. LOL Anyway, thank you much for taking the time to give me advice, and it is very much appreciated. |
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