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Child Of Stars
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Child Of Stars |
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o. forrest cain Junior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 17West Virginia |
In a green shade she brushes the wind from her hair, Stands a slow breath of leaf-mold and tree. Grapevine, brown thrush and nearness of storm, Stands a slow breath of copper and beech. Child of stars, mother earth, mother earth. In a half light she washes the night from her face, Stands a slow breath of pine bough and snow. Hayloft, wood owl and nearness of sun, Stands a slow breath of cornshock and crow. Child of stars, mother earth, mother earth. In a jay's flight she teases the blue from her eyes, Stands a slow breath of waxwing and pond, Cattail, stick pole and creek bottom squirrel, Stands a slow breath of terrapin and fawn. Child of stars, mother earth, mother earth. In a dogwood she stretches the sleep from her limbs, Stands a slow breath of blossom and bee. Calf's bawl, milk pail and evenings first star, Stands a slow breath of frost-fall and geese. Child of stars, mother earth, mother earth. Ground of being let us pray. Let us drink as we kneel. From a spring hand dug Cut back in the hill. Child of stars, Mother earth, mother earth. forrest 2003 |
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| © Copyright 2003 O. Forrest Cain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
I enjoyed reading this. Simple words conveying expressive visuals. Smooth variation in meter--kept it interesting for me. Sid |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Love the poem, but I'm wondering why each sentence is capped? My Word SW caps everything, and I often end up having to edit before posting. I'll save and re-read this one later, as I'm out of time today for any serious reading/critiquing but wanted you to know I read it.  |
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raevynsbreath Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 64Mi, USA |
this was very good. it sounds like a wiccan prayer. how pretty. i'd like to read more. _rae |
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a_hollowman Junior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 30Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
I concur with raven'sbreath, that this indeed did sound a lot like a prayer for Wicca, though the overall theme engendres a more natural theme than Wicca itself represents. This is no religious portrayal, but to me seems more of an exuberant exclamation of natures beauty. The only parts I had particular trouble with, or rather discovered to be rather confounding were the 2nd and 4th lines of the first four stanzas. They consisted of generally seeming non-sensical use of words, such as wax-wing, terrapin and corn-shock. These perhaps have a personal meaning? Or mayhap I am not particular with these words. I would believe they are somehow more central to an obscure theme, perhaps relating how some things in nature are unexplainable. If so then a very exquisite metaphor. In closing, I noticed this poem seemed to provoke a rather Romantic Period theme, since it is about nature and possibly religion, which I believe accounts for almost all Romantic Period poems, and yours is quite skillfully written. - Sincerely, a_hollowman [This message has been edited by a_hollowman (06-16-2003 12:28 AM).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Beautiful poem...  *hums I saw the sign*Repetition was great, once I got over being completely creeped out by the title.  Traditionally, each line of poetry was capitalized...another sign of romanticism. As the modern age came about, that practice sort of disappeared. I for one miss the capitalization...and poetry that takes me places other than those I've been to before. Thanks for the refresher.~Carly empty arms and half a soul to go -el sol --Zwan [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (06-16-2003 06:54 PM).] |
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o. forrest cain Junior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 17West Virginia |
Carly, Sid, Mid. and rae, thanks for your kind words and comments. Hollowman lines 2 and 4 were sensory words that I hoped would give a seasonal feel to the verses (i.e. cornshock/crow to = late fall/winter. thanks forrest |
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Cytten Junior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 16Canada |
I really enjoyed reading your poem... It reminded me of a earth faerie. It truley sounded as if there was a magick (thats how we wiccas spell magic) fealing behind it.But whatever the meaning it was supurb keep writing. |
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o. forrest cain Junior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 17West Virginia |
Cytten, thanks for your generous comments. forrest |
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