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Critical Analysis #2
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hope- a winter's dream
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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hope- a winter's dream |
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no1atall New Member
since 2003-05-02
Posts 5 |
As I sit amongst the stars, sweetly lost within the twilight, I dance between silver clouds, ascend through chill air, and far behind me, painful silence, nothing remains. Still I'm drawn by whispered words, carried on Winter's frosty breath. Where twisted shadows lie, tamed by gentle moonlight touch, and where within this enchanted dark, beyond the dream, it waits for me. Enveloped by timeless hope, as the thawing of Winter's lifeless grasp brings warmth to morning's peaceful glow. Where ice wears thinly, while crooked branch shakes free of season's frosty arm. And so through this darkness blooms a flower, which waits for me, each passing hour. ---------------------------------- hey this is my first poem.I dont consider myself a poet compared to some of the stuff i've seen on here already! =) But I think i'd like to start writing more, school's no help tho. So any feedback would be much appriciated thanks! Chris |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey there...thanks for coming into CA to post your first poem  Instead of critiquing your poem at the moment I just want to ask you a few questions... Firstly - why is school no help for you? Second - what have you read in the way of poetry lately? Third - what kind of poetry do you enjoy the most? That'll do for now...if you could let me the answers to those, I'll give you more feedback..  K |
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no1atall New Member
since 2003-05-02
Posts 5 |
well school is no help because none of the techers seem to have the time to talk to you about your own stuff. Cirriculum wise it's all very 'un-creative' as there is no stimulation to further yourself, it's all about other people's work, and answering questions in a fixed way, by telling them what the examining boards want to hear you say. However, apart from the poetry in lessons I have hardly read any outside of school, it just never really interested me until lately, when I just needed an outlet for my emotions, which I think is how poetry should be. Poems I enjoy tend to be older rather than modern. Natural peotry especially. But I honestly dont know. I like abstract pieces, dreams etc. I am sounding dumb yet? |
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Kamala Member
since 2003-04-17
Posts 59CA, USA |
Dear No1, You're not sounding dumb. I think most of us who write poetry have been through the expository hell that is school. I remember feeling the same way back in high school... just like there wasn't a whole lot of room for the creative writing. I was lucky to have done so much of it in junior high that it never left me. But I can really sympathize with your position. Anyway -- yeah, poetry is a great outlet for emotions, but it also an intellectual/artistic craft. And the great thing is, you don't have to give up expressing just because you develop the more intellectual/artistic sides of your writing. So, I would suggest... if you haven't read a lot, go out and read a lot. Not only is it a really good way to learn, it's also really inspiring. I often get ideas for things I want to write WHILE reading other people's work. It's a great feedback loop, and very fun. It's always good to know one's ancestors. That being said... welcome. Much Support, Kamala |
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Kamala Member
since 2003-04-17
Posts 59CA, USA |
Okay all... zeitgeist moment... i just finished posting that, "good to know your ancestors bit," and realized that there was a little advert, flashy window thing saying: "Who are your ancestors?" Type your name here! in the upper left hand corner of the screen. I SWEAR... i did not intend to quote or in any other way allude to that. :-) Kamala |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Chris, you don't mention at what level of school. If highschool then I think the reason for your complaint that it ust isn't time yet. At least not for 95% or so of the students. Writing is like any other skill. Before you can become proficient, you have to develop the necessary tools. In fact, writing may be more so than most artistic skills. The only practical way to teach that to scool-size classes is by teaching what works and, to some extent, what does not. Most of us are not going to learn to be good writers by studying our own work. We have to study those who came before us, whose work has survived the test of time (about the best way of determining what is good or not) if we have any hope of learning. Of couse there will be arguments and there are exceptions but precious few of us have the talent of a Mozart (music I think is a similar skill). By the time yoy get to advanced studies, study and analysis of your own writings will be much more successful. Of course, I don't mean to say that you can't get plenty of good advice here in CA. So keep on writing and submitting. Aso be sure to join in the discussions of others' works. But just don't even think about sacrificing your reading, especially of those generally considered to be "good." JMHO, Pete |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
no1atall, First, interesting pen name. I think you are sum1. Secondly, keep up your writing and reading as already stated. There are some very fine writers and teachers here at this site. There is so much to learn and many here are so willing to share. Like any art or skill it takes practice and study. I tell you only to remind myself of the very same things. Keep writing. SG |
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