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Critical Analysis #2
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Points of Reflection I, II, & III
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Points of Reflection I, II, & III |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA 
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Points of Reflection I Is it not ironic that the hand holding each day’s fate upturned starts the whelping process again ? II how I long for the simplicity of a young mind answers were plentiful believed in their totality Now I question the answers and have no more questions III what is logical about normalcy? how does one define ‘average’? and by which standards? [This message has been edited by ShadowRider (10-15-2002 10:54 PM).] |
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
The whole poem should be rewritten in a questioning format in order to harmonize it with its title. Assertions or statements of beliefs do not necessarily come across as points to be reflected upon as indicated by the poem's title. For example: Points for Reflection The hand causing the whelping is at fault. Points for Reflection Can the hand causing the whelping be at fault? The first example is simply a statement of my belief. The second example invites the reader to ponder or reflect upon the thought. See the contrast? |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
interesting observations. I changed the first one to be more interrogative, but can't seem to find a way to keep the 2nd succint if i change the voice to an inquisitive mode. the third seems ok in that vein. I like your way of thinking and thankx! Jeff [This message has been edited by ShadowRider (10-15-2002 10:58 PM).] |
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
Here is an example of how you might modify that middle stanza if you wish. Should we long for simplicity of a young mind? For answers to be plentiful and believed in their totality? For ability not to question answers and remain without questions? [This message has been edited by Radrook (10-16-2002 04:02 AM).] |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
I have to admit, i am confused as to direction to take here. S2 says: I have no questions, yet, the suggestions you made (which I contemplated over and over *smile*) wanted me to make them into interrogatives. I was intending more of a Gibran style writing, where the writer is not truly expecting an answer, but merely posing situations to ponder. arg my aching head. Thanks, tho, Rad. The answer must be uh.... blowing in the wind somewhere... jeff |
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
Hi! You previously wrote: [I changed the first one to be more interrogative, but can't seem to find a way to keep the 2nd succint if i change the voice to an inquisitive mode.] I understood this to mean that you were searching a way to express the thoughts in that stanza more succinctly in the inquisitive mode. That is the reason I offered an example of how to express that stanza more succinctly in an inquisitive mode. But of course you have a right to change your mind about what form your poem will take. So you are the best judge in that area. My suggestions were offered in accord with what seemed to be what you wanted at that particular time. God bless! |
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
BTW The use of questions within poems is usually discouraged. One reason for this is that the question marks tend to bring the reader to a very strong full stop. This interferes with the smooth flow of the read. However, since your title is "Points to Ponder" I felt that an exception could be made in this case. [This message has been edited by Radrook (10-23-2002 03:47 PM).] |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
again, either in this poem, or in others, i take your words about posing questions as truth. Over-the-top self-serving questions come off wrongly. Reflective points were more my aim. I have 4-6 written and penciled ideas for 10-12. Your suggestions are good ones and my ears are wide open. Thankx, R!. |
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