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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #2 » Epitaph
Critical Analysis #2
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Monk Frost I!
Member
since 2008-06-15
Posts 80
0 posted 2009-02-15 01:35 AM

Taken all my years
To grasp life
Along with fear
The taste of strife
Tired of tears
At last I laugh
© Copyright 2009 Terry Ridener - All Rights Reserved
Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
1 posted 2009-03-12 05:02 PM


Perhaps you could shorten the last line to create a more punctuated ending. Something like:

I laugh

.
Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
2 posted 2009-03-12 07:05 PM


For instance:

It’s taken years
To grasp life
It’s fears
The taste of strife
Tired of tears
I laugh

.
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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #2 » Epitaph

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