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Valentine
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Valentine |
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Monk Frost I! Member
since 2008-06-15
Posts 80 |
Love is desire Lost in admire |
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| © Copyright 2009 Terry Ridener - All Rights Reserved | |||
moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
"Admire" is a verb. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I think it works. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
Hi moonbeam,  Yes, I agree.. It can be done, but it's considered tacky. http://decorabilia.blogspot.com/2007/05/is-it-okay-to-end-sentence-with-verb.html http://www.englishchick.com/grammar/grcomm.htm I think this link sums it up the best: http://www.one-step-forward.net/2007/11/part-two-with-what-do-you-end-sentence.html Suzy, I love your crit message ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi monkly, I can't say, this is a poem. Try to envision these 6 words strung together on a page, in a sea of white. The reader would be expecting something profound. This is little more than a cliched ditty. If I took your three posts and put them togeter like below, I might have a poem. It's sick humor and clumsy, but a poem. Taken all my years To grasp life Along with fear The taste of strife Tired of tears At last I laugh Love is desire Lost in admire We all linger to feed from the soil Except for the children that starve Seed our world of turmoil Save Eden, sow a garden |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Just to be clear, I have no problem with endings per se. There are instances perhaps of legitimate grammatical usage, comic usage and yoda usage where a verb ending works well. Here it does not work well for me. It sounds like the writer wanted a hurried rhyme for "desire", and simply latched onto "admire" in preference to the correct noun "admiration". For me, it comes over as bad writing. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Since the line is not a sentence, wouldn’t that make it ok by default . |
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