Catching the Rhythm - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Critical Analysis #2

Catching the Rhythm

shades_of_green
New Member

since 2008-12-17

Posts 8

0 posted 2008-12-17 11:02 PM

Catching the rhythm,
Feeling the beat
With the Salsa it's easy
To catch the downbeat

Whirling around,
I feel lightheaded
But I don't need to think
The motions are embedded

I know the other dancers,
When we twirl around
Even though we haven't met,
We connect through the sound

Through the heat of the dance,
My memories shone
Remembering they had partners,
And that I was alone

This thought snapped me back,
And I stepped off the dance floor
Regretfully leaving,
But I could always return for more

chopsticks
Senior Member

since 2007-10-02

Posts 888
The US,

1 posted 2008-12-18 11:11 AM

I Like this one. The delightful little hook is in the fourth stanza and I would consider loosing the last stanza.

shades_of_green
New Member

since 2008-12-17

Posts 8

2 posted 2008-12-18 12:33 PM

Thanks for you imput!

acsin92
New Member

since 2009-01-08

Posts 7

3 posted 2009-01-09 09:21 AM

wow, what's the story beneath those lines? I kinda perceive it differently other than a dance floor scenario. good one for me.

Never say never.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.