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simply love
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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simply love |
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Atian New Member
since 2008-12-02
Posts 1 |
Im new here and this is my first poem.. Is a song poem :P Made by: Atian Name: Simply love Chords: Am Asus4 Asus2 Am Cmaj Cadd9 Cmay Cmay7 Solo: Am pentatonic scale -- I remeber your eyes... I remeber your love... I remeber your fire! -- I want to go back to you. Im so alone in the dark... I want to feel the fire. Everytime when i touch your fire i can see you. Your love is fire and i want to burnup. When is see my life i just like a rose. A rose can die or live. Is the same way with love and life! -- Your love is simply! Simply love... Simply love... -- |
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| © Copyright 2008 Atian - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Hi Atian, I guess I'd have to hear the melody to really appreciate the lyrics. The first thing that caught my eye is that you really need to run your work through a spell check before you post it. When I first came here, someone made that suggestion to me. I tend to be in a hurry when I write and I make silly mistakes. Maybe you do the same. There are some technical errors in your work that I'd like to see cleaned up. I think there was an abrupt transition between the analogies of fire and rose. Maybe you can expand your thoughts a bit more. I felt confused by this line quote: If I were you, I'd build on your thoughts and maybe add more to this poem/song. Thank you for posting - and thanks for having the courage to jump into CA with your very first PiP post. Welcome. Alison |
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