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Dirty Cleansing Love
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Dirty Cleansing Love |
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dracula68 Junior Member
since 2008-09-07
Posts 30Illinois |
I gave this a porn-sounding title hoping to draw 5 million readers. Dirty Cleansing Love I say water will flood and everything will get dirty whether we are here cleaning or not. So why try and stop it? Yet here we kneel scouring and scrubbing and staining. I think of how we choke on dust and become dust. You think of the sunshine reflecting on the linoleum floor and how the smiles we soon will see will lift the mood of the room far above the reach of decay. Because I love you I choose to smile along and even sing along for a brief chorus. You sing as you scrub because you say it makes your soul glide fresh and fair above the earth. I sing to forget for just a few dazzling bars the decay inherent in every passing second. And now somewhere between heaven and hell there flies a song of minor harmony And over a tub spotted with lime scale and hard water we smile and sing we smile and sing and somewhere in the valley below our feathered melody on the very earth my feet can’t quite bear to leave our hearts and hands for one tender moment join at the scouring pad. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Michael Pacholski - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I don't know about 5,000,000 people but I found it interesting. I like the progression, the conversational quality, and of course that moment where things just 'happen'. I'm not comfortable with some of the breaks and do think it could be tightened a bit, but these are minor quibbles. Overall, a very strong poem. |
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Musel Junior Member
since 2008-07-17
Posts 34 |
I like how you tied the seemingly mundane task of washing and cleaning with the fragility life. Overall it was a nice, it flowed very well |
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