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Critical Analysis #2
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Maybe/Living a Lie
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Maybe/Living a Lie |
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xxxFallingSixFeetxxx Junior Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 13 |
Waited so long to expierence this dream But the reality isn’t what I thought it would be Maybe I had my hopes up too high Maybe I am trying to live a lost lie. I’m not quite so sure that existence is great For all I’ve found in life is a great deal of hate Maybe I have my priorities confused Maybe I should try switching my views. Tried to change but it didn’t go my way I guess I’m just destined to remain the same Now I’m sure that my hopes were too high And I will always be stuck- living a lie. |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
‘ - - ‘ - ‘ - - - ‘ Waited so long to expierence this dream - - - ‘ - - ‘ - ‘ - ‘ ‘ - ‘ But the reality isn’t what I thought it would be(.) ‘ - - ‘ - ‘ - - ‘ Maybe I had my hopes up too high (,) ‘ - - ‘ - - ‘ - - ‘ Maybe I’m trying to live a lost lie Etc. Hi -- This one isn’t so much technically flawed as it is technically naïve. I understand that the poem is working basically with four stresses per line, but, as I read it, the stresses are pretty random. I might have thought that this was being technically sophisticated, except “experience” is misspelled. Now, there are people who go on at great length about meter and stresses and sub-stress and so on, and this is important to the extent that a pattern, or breaking a pattern, contributes to the music of the poem -- Does it sound right? It’s hard to critique the logic of the poem, because there isn’t any. Poems are read for sense as well as sound. Although sometimes the sense needs to be ferreted out, this doesn’t seem to be that type of poem, just a confused one. Otis Redding took a whack at the theme in “Sittin’ On the Dock of the Bay:” "Look like nothing's gonna change Everything still remains the same I can't do what ten people tell me to do So I guess I'll remain the same." That’s sort of like the short version. Best, Jimbeaux  |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Hi Feet, it’s never fun to be told you have a ugly baby, but it may be good to hear that before you start thinking pretty baby contest. I think your idea is good, though it has been herd many times from divorce court “The blanking I‘m getting, ain’t worth the blanking I got “ If you get discouraged , you are not a poet. Now, if someone would write their memoirs on a cold Rainey night, it could catch on. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
yall are full of it in my opinion!! this is a great poem, don't let them get you down!! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Cherry, remember this is Critical Analysis. Nobody is trying to "get anyone down." A meaningless statement like yours doesn't much help anyone. Please do tell us why you find this to be "a great poem." That could be useful for those who may not recognize greatness. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
“ This is a great poem “ Hi Cherry, I am not sure I would recognize greatness in a poem, so I would appreciate you pointing out the greatness in this one. Maybe, while you are at it, please tell us about that other great poem you have read . I’m older than thirteen , but, (to use an old cliché) I’m willing to learn . |
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