Critical Analysis #2 |
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Country road ( No John you can't copyright a title ) |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Country road The quiet of a country evening When the pale moon is on the shine I think back to those yester years With an old man’s mellow mind I think of that old red rooster That runs and pecks my keister It was little me, always me Never once to my big sister This was inspired by Alison’s rooster poem, but my rooster is staying put . [This message has been edited by Nan (09-01-2008 08:21 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2008 My brother John. - All Rights Reserved | |||
SkaaDee Member
since 2008-04-07
Posts 116Canada |
kinda cute. I think "quite" from line one should be "quiet". |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Thanks SKaaDee, you are right it should have been ~ Quiet ~, but it is domed to go through eternity as ~Quite~ I missed the 24 hour cut. I think if you sign a waver admitting to being a dummy you shoud get more than 24 hours, but rules are rules. |
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SkaaDee Member
since 2008-04-07
Posts 116Canada |
kind of like the crack in the liberty bell or Neil Armstrong flubbing that first sentence on the moon. people love imperfections. |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
You are right SD and custer's last stand comes to mind also. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I had a rooster like that too - or was it a goose? Either way, I recall running and jumping UP onto a shovel to get my kiester out of reach.. ![]() |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
I hear you Nan, ain’t nothing anymore picky than a Massachusetts rooster, of course, unless it’s a Canadian goose. And I hope Obama does something about the Canadian goose before its to late, and we all lose our kiester. [This message has been edited by chopsticks (09-01-2008 12:22 PM).] |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
I loved it. I've yet to see keister effectively used in a poem, congratulations on that award! ![]() |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Thanks viking_metal, 6 months ago I couldn’t even spell keister now I can make rhyme with it. |
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ChristianSpeaks Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 396Iowa, USA |
Well done. I like the somewhat flirty rhyme. It's almost there but not. Like two 14 year olds in love. Dane |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Thanks, ChristianSpeaks, I did flirt with the rhyme, but its so close I’m going to leave it alone. I did not realize it until you caught it. You must be a brave person to tell this mean old man that he missed the rhyme, and you did it so diplomatically |
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dracula68 Junior Member
since 2008-09-07
Posts 30Illinois |
quite delightful! I loved the rooster/keister off-rhyme. Very much like Ogden Nash, but everyone says that about a poem that makes you smile. reminded me of the song made famous by Sam Cooke "Little Red Rooster" "got me a little red rooster/too lazy to crow for days" And, yes, "Country Road" is a perfectly fine title. |
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