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Wail and Smith
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Wail and Smith |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
Under the hammer of a hearths star Both love and lust is beaten out, Forged by the urge of unbridled hands And drawn through the tension of the heat. Where bellows heave and the chime of rings Spark to the embers of an anvil heart, The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs. [This message has been edited by Grinch (04-01-2008 05:48 PM).] |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Under the hammer of a hearths star (9) Both love and lust is beaten out, (8) Forged by the urge of unbridled hands (9) And drawn through the tension of the heat.(9) Where bellows heave and the chime of rings (9) Spark to the embers of an anvil heart, (10) The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice (10) Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs.(10) What is the style? (if i got them right) Under the hammer of a hearths star Both love and lust is beaten out, Forged by the urge of unbridled hands And drawn through the tension of the heat. Love and lust went through trials to get into shape or shall I say, a suitable condition. Who was the hearths star? Where bellows heave and the chime of rings Spark to the embers of an anvil heart, The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs. But the Vice of an anvil heart with the tongs stopped the beating...Did this mean that the maturation of love was stopped? Or I didn't get it? [This message has been edited by Seoulair (04-01-2008 07:05 PM).] |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
It started off as syllabic then turned free in the edit simply because I preferred the sound. |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
Here it is without the deletions: Under the hammer fall of a hearths star Both love and lust is fired and beaten out, Then forged by the urge of unbridled hands It’s drawn out through the tension of the heat. Where the bellows heave and the chime of rings Spark to the embers of an anvil heart, The crescendo reigns and the glow of vice Seals in the welding with a flick of tongs. |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
quote: Wayland Smith |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Under the hammer fall of a hearths star Both love and lust is fired and beaten out, How interesting it gave totally different meaning. Why did you do this? I simply could not think that you deleted some words. If you want to tell me why the procedure? The poem itself is, I like the tune of it. |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Thank you Grinch. I googled Wayland Smith which was a very interesting tale. But this poem was not sole about it? otherwise you wound mention the wing he made. (and others) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayland_Smith |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
Every blacksmith is Wayland Smith in the eyes of their lover. |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Do you want to say something about your poem? (I'd love to read) |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Uh-- hearth? I feel like I'm walking through Old Town, Magic Mountain. I have no doubt that was intentional, but at a loss as to why. |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
It was totally accidental Brad, an unfortunate consequence of trying to squeeze three themes into an eight line poem. I’ll make a note to try and re-word the first line the next time I edit it. |
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