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Critical Analysis #2
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a plot for loneliness
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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a plot for loneliness |
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poddarku Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589india 
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A plot of loneliness Come near, mischief; play with the air of emptiness Play with the little kitten that should have been upon this mattress Kiss at the forehead that would have alighted with bliss Have a drink from an nonexistent cupboard Warm your legs by cold logs of barrenwood Nobody, if nobody comes I’ll play alone With a jigsaw puzzle spread on atmosphere To complete a house that never was there. |
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| © Copyright 2008 poddar kushal - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Welcome Poddarku, I like your poem. The one thing I am sure of it should be 15 to 18 lines. Btw,barren wood is two words. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
poddarku, a warm welcome to tis wonderful site of PIPtalk. And you may go to other forum to talk nonpoetic thing.  I think that your poem is good. i like it. and I agree with Chops. Tom |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Poddarku, I may have been wrong about the 15 to 18 lines. It is a delightful and intriguing poem the way it is, but I will show you what I mean : plot of loneliness Come near, mischief; play with the air of emptiness Play with the little kitten that should have been upon this mattress Kiss at the forehead that would have alighted with bliss Have a drink from an nonexistent cupboard Warm your legs by cold logs of barren wood Nobody, if nobody comes I’ll play alone With a jigsaw puzzle spread on atmosphere To complete a house that never was there. I thought about “gossamer” for “ atmosphere “ , but atmosphere is better. [This message has been edited by chopsticks (01-17-2008 08:50 AM).] |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Poddarku, I need an e-mail address. Do me a favor and e-mail me when you get a chance. |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
I've read your work on a couple other sites. This poem and your "the room within" are my favorites. Your words set a mood I can identify with even though they bring back memories of a time of terrible sadness. Good luck with your writing. I enjoy reading your work. |
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poddarku Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589india |
thank u all.my writing are so personal and hence ,many a times formless, i could not imagine you all would send such heart warming responses. |
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