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Critical Analysis #2

A pair of feet

poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

0 posted 2008-01-17 10:06 AM

A pair of feet
Just now this ancient walkway
Carried those light feet away
Not knowing who she was,
You know, sadness can open
Some abrupt tiers, sub conscious.
It can open your heart, beside
The yellow growth of satanic nicotine.
A pair of petering feet can open many dreams
(Mother for a last time saying “don’t go!”)
Or
(A casual afire tastes sad in an after taught)

The cold stone of the walkway don’t know
Nightmares, it is born under a cold star.

chopsticks
Senior Member

since 2007-10-02

Posts 888
The US,

1 posted 2008-01-17 11:27 AM

Poddarku , I think I understand your poem , but I want to call on the Translator.

OK Tomster, you have thirty seconds and your time starts now .

What television show was I watching this cold snowy morning ?

TomMark
Member Elite

since 2007-07-27

Posts 2133
LA,CA

2 posted 2008-01-17 11:49 AM

This is a very beautiful free verse.
I don't think that it needs to change a thing.

Chops, I saw you staring at the mirror all morning.
I can't say that it was not a show.

Shall I give a title, I'd say Chopsup.
Tomtoo

chopsticks
Senior Member

since 2007-10-02

Posts 888
The US,

3 posted 2008-01-17 01:21 PM

“ This is a very beautiful free verse.”

I agree and I think the poem is about mother and the loss of her daughter, but was it by

death or some other reason.

L 8 is confusing for me, “ Satanic nicotine “ makes me think bad things.

poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

4 posted 2008-01-19 01:10 AM

thank u both tom and chop.here ancient corridor means passage of time.

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