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Critical Analysis #2
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Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

0 posted 2007-12-20 04:24 PM


"I liked using words like 'tyranny'
and 'taste making' to describe enacted preference,
while guarding for myself words like 'purity'."
--Louise Glück, 1993

Mix water with wine, said the devil,
like fire and ice, it takes patience.
Patience and moderation. Wait, wait,
we'll see the volcano erupt and become
a new sun, an oval sun, and the flowers
will become green as the bee dies
before you. Wait for the colors to become
color, a blizzard, and a snow crash;
stand with your left toe immersed
and your right, dry and dirty.
Wait, simple and perfect,
I carry the sign of hydrogen
on my forehead. Not a number,
a human number, the most common
element waits for us to be in common.
Wait for water to flow up, a quantum
possibility at the right time and in the right
portion. The spiritual and the material,
the text and its referent, pure and beautiful.
The referent and its text, a unity
that lasts eternity or until the last man
breathes his last sign.

Temperance

© Copyright 2007 Brad - All Rights Reserved
TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
1 posted 2007-12-20 05:28 PM


I can't believe that a sleepless night was for a poem. I have to read all the challenging poems before I make a good sound.

But  
"Wait, wait,
we'll see the volcano erupt and become
a new sun, an oval sun,"
I'll say that the lightening had laid a premature egg in a hurry.  

[This message has been edited by TomMark (12-20-2007 10:43 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2007-12-20 06:38 PM


I've got questions. (surprise)

The only thing it is clear that is said by the devil

Mix water with wine

Did you want it that way?

And was this done with or without research on Temperance?

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
3 posted 2007-12-21 01:32 AM


"Mix water with wine, said the devil,
like fire and ice, it takes patience."

for some reason this poem made me think of my Chemistry class:P But I absolutely love Chemistry. As I thouroghly enjoyed your poem Very nice to read over a warm cup of Apple Cider..
Krysti

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2007-12-21 01:43 AM


thank you, so much for adding that, because that's exactly what the first line made me think of too.



Now Brad, are you gonna answer my questions or whut? I can assure you, I did NOT solicit hunnie girl to say that.

(gawd I just type naughty-soundin' stuff )

Sorry, hg.

Sheesh. Double-sheesh!!

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
5 posted 2007-12-21 03:41 PM


quote:
I can't believe that a sleepless night was for a poem. I have to read all the challenging poems before I make a good sound.

But  
"Wait, wait,
we'll see the volcano erupt and become
a new sun, an oval sun,"
I'll say that the lightening had laid a premature egg in a hurry.


Thanks, TM. I was just following the card. I was also trying for an oblique reference to Gene Wolfe's "The Book of the New Sun" and "The Long Sun".

But hey you gotta lay a few eggs if  you want to make an omelet once in a while.

Karen,

The devil is speaking through the whole poem. I did read a little on the subject and, to be honest, was struck by the use of Hegelian and/or Hegelianesque terminology. I tried to integrate some of that here.

The Gluck quote was intended ironically if that wasn't clear.

HG,

Thanks. Chemistry class, huh? Well, okay, I can live with that.

Just remember, it is the devil speaking.

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
6 posted 2007-12-22 01:08 PM


I guess this is as good a time as any to post this:

quote:
Madame Sosostris, famous clairvoyante,43
Had a bad cold, nevertheless
Is known to be the wisest woman in Europe,
With a wicked pack of cards.  Here, said she, 46
Is your card, the drowned Phoenician Sailor,
(Those are pearls that were his eyes.  Look!)
Here is Belladonna, The Lady of the Rocks, The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and  this card,
Which is blank, is something he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see.  I do not find
The Hanged Man.   Fear death by water. 55
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you.  If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself:
One must be so careful these days.


--TS Eliot, The Waste Land
http://eliotswasteland.tripod.com/

This bit has nothing to do with my poem except for Tarot cards and the admonition at the end. But still, I thought it might be important to point out that Karen wasn't the only one who saw poetic value in Tarot cards.

I guess the question is whether she's in good company with him or he with her?


oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA
7 posted 2007-12-22 03:27 PM


I feel like a donkey
Following your carrot.
I’m going where it leads me,
Knowing nothing of the Tarot.

In terms of this peculiar deck,
I do not pass, but choose to check..
As to Tarot and the bards,
It is, or isn’t, in the cards.

For inspiration and direction
I prefer the coin connection.
To do the divination thing
When I’m lost, I ching.

Best of Holidays, Jim Aitken

beautyincalvary
Member
since 2006-07-13
Posts 98

8 posted 2007-12-22 07:05 PM


I've been so busy in school that I haven't had time to come on piptalk. I've been missing out; all these poems are quite beautiful!
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
9 posted 2007-12-25 05:06 PM


Thanks Jim,

The I Ching, huh? There's another source waiting to be explored.

Thanks beauty,

You know you're always welcome in these parts.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2008-01-02 03:52 PM


Laughing...

oh my, I just read the I Ching comment too.

*blush*

And I'd like to thank you Brad, for yet another very thoughtful poem. I don't know why I'm suspicious of this one though.

Maybe it's just Karenoia.

But since I seem to be in thought-mode today, perhaps I'll take the plunge.

Soon.

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