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lyricpoet
Member

since 2005-07-16

Posts 199
NY, USA

0 posted 2007-11-01 06:08 PM

O' long will I love her full of heart and with the ends of the earth as my possession. When I behold the almighty heavens and Eros' mysterious blades of love, the midnight sun, and the scattered stars, the deep night which cast her benign light upon me. Holding me not in sin and reflecting the offerings of sacrifice and loves sweet breath.

Romance and Death.

Let Valley spirits fall by there own devices where angels of rank renew the very thought of the first time she taught my noble heart about the true way of love. She turned the hours back but her famed wings were already set within the crowning city. Where Elysian saints with solemn eyes gaze through the clear, fresh air toward the holy grounds where her beautiful body peacefully rests.

Romance and Death.

©2007 Kevin Brian Wright

Author Kevin Brian Wright 2007

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2007-11-01 11:07 PM

You have some nice, powerful, Biblical images here (reminds me of something Travolta says in 'Michael' or Constatine etc.), but I can't get it to cohere.

This may be my fault. Let me sleep on it.

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

2 posted 2007-11-02 05:03 PM

And now, it has taken on a much more ominous tone.

quote:
O' long will I love her full of heart and with the ends of the earth as my possession.

Power.

quote:
When I behold the almighty heavens and Eros' mysterious blades of love, the midnight sun, and the scattered stars, the deep night which cast her benign light upon me.

The speaker holds the blades. The night has 'lighted' (enlightened?) the speaker.

quote:
Holding me not in sin and reflecting the offerings of sacrifice and loves sweet breath.

'offerings of sacrifice' is awkward, but the speaker makes a sacrifice, an offering, of love to the night.

Romance and Death.

quote:
Let Valley spirits fall by there own devices where angels of rank renew the very thought of the first time she taught my noble heart about the true way of love.

The valley of the shadow of death. 'She' is ambigous here. I tend to see it as the night that shone in the first paragraph and not the 'sacrifice'.

quote:
She turned the hours back but her famed wings were already set within the crowning city. Where Elysian saints with solemn eyes gaze through the clear, fresh air toward the holy grounds where her beautiful body peacefully rests.

I like the use of ambiguity here, but I'm still inclined to see 'she' as the 'night' and 'her' as the sacrifice. Still, that may be because I find it difficult to see wings on a body that peacefully rests.

A horrifying image. But, hey, it is Halloween time.

lyricpoet
Member

since 2005-07-16

Posts 199
NY, USA

3 posted 2007-11-03 09:08 AM

The poem is about a man in love with an angel. That's why she rests with wings. And the sacrifice is: He is willing to give himself so she can live again.

She is already dead.

Author Kevin Brian Wright 2007

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

4 posted 2007-11-03 01:31 PM

My point exactly.

lyricpoet
Member

since 2005-07-16

Posts 199
NY, USA

5 posted 2007-11-03 01:36 PM

Thats what you find to be a A horrifying image?

Author Kevin Brian Wright 2007

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

6 posted 2007-11-03 05:55 PM

The only problems I have with it is that the last sentence in each stanza is not a sentence and "there own devices" I think should be "their".

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