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Critical Analysis #2
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gorecki’s third, babcia’s tea
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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gorecki’s third, babcia’s tea |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
sugar lemon spoon glass tea trembling hand stirring stirring in cindered eye the columned plumes sanctified in sorrowful song hollow womb bread and water trembling glass David, Sarah, Jacob, Isaac…lost rising rising in the amber |
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| © Copyright 2007 JenniferMaxwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi Jennifer. I can't make an exact connection between Gorecki's symphony and Grandmom's tea, unless her listening to the symphony prompts her memories. This is a stunning piece of work, a truly original, moving take. Poetry Magazine has a call out for submissions from poets who have not published there previously. Give it a shot? Best, Jim |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Thanks, Jim. Do you think these slight revisions make that connection clearer? sugar lemon spoon glass tea - her trembling hand stirring stirring cindered eye the columned plumes sanctified in sorrowful song bread and water hollow womb Sarah, Jacob, Isaac . . . lost rising rising through the notes and amber |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi Jennifer! Excellent revision! Amazing how one "note" can make it even better! Best, Jim |
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UseTheIllusion Member
since 2006-02-06
Posts 223In a state of limbo |
You write good words, but what do Issac, David, Sarah, and Jacob have to do with the rest? |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Good point, Illusion. Perhaps using the Polish form of the names does make more sense but they might also be a distraction for non-Polish speakers. For example, Dawid sort of looks like a typo. |
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UseTheIllusion Member
since 2006-02-06
Posts 223In a state of limbo |
I see, a familial reference. For a mintue there I thought you were tying Judeaism into your poem. |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
I'm glad that's what you thought, Illusion. |
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UseTheIllusion Member
since 2006-02-06
Posts 223In a state of limbo |
Glad? So was I right the first time? |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Yes and no. Wanted to pack as much as I could into as few words as possible, touch very, very lightly on the same themes as in the music and give my impression of how listening to that music might affect someone who had lived those theme experiences. In this case a grandmother who’d survived the Holocaust but lost children, grandchildren. So the idea was hopefully to express both the familial and Jewish with the Jacob, Isaac, etc. and the Polish grandmother with Babcia. Oh well, maybe it makes sense only to me. |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Not familiar with the title references, but I love the poem, especially the first few lines- I love the cadence, it just works together so well. My quess is that knowing the music would probably enrich this even more. Enjoyed the read. Hope this helped. |
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