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Resin
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Resin |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. 
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Hard to speak Hard to breathe Hard to live In this sieve I raise an eye I draw the bead I grow A seed A bush A tree A weed A midwinter pine With too many needles And too little patience For a common need. [This message has been edited by viking_metal (05-07-2007 10:13 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved | |||
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Hi Paul: I think you've got you assessment backwards. The last four lines would be a great conclusion to something, but I'm not sure what that something IS from the first parts of the poem. I don't understand the sieve allusion -- wouldn't it be easy-ish to breathe through a sieve? What are you drawing a bead on? I can't find the "target." Interesting to see you start to work with rhyme! Best, Jim |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Anyone else? |
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